2 Weeks Old!

I really cannot believe it has been two weeks since Emily was born. Things have been going pretty seamlessly, I have found a new rhythm, and I am gaining confidence every day that I can raise four kids! I must admit- some things are challenging. For instance, it is hard to try things for the first time and feel like I can be successful. I took Emily and Matthew to the grocery store the other day for a big shop and I surprised myself with my ability to still do the things I did before Emily joined our life! I have had to work harder to get places on time because I forget that when you have a baby who breastfeeds- you need to account for extra time to feed her. So far, these little speed bumps are the only things that really challenge me. Life with four children is a little crazier but oh so much fun.

So I am sure you can sense in my writing that I am feeling good about life. It sounds like I have it all figured out. Funny- I thought I was passing with flying colors until I took Emily to her doctor's appointment today. A little background. I feed Emily every 2 - 2 1/2 hours all day long. I am up at night with her, I cuddle and feed her all day long. Basically- I feel like I am feeding her 24/7. So you could imagine my great surprise when I took her in for her two week check up and found up that she lost more weight. What???? I was shocked! This baby is on the breast all day long! My doctor was concerned. Emily was born at 8 lbs. 1 ounce and was now 7 lbs. 2 ounces. When she left the hospital to come home, she was 7 lbs. 8 ounces. For her first week at home, I pumped and then fed her a bottle. Then, the second week I breastfed her exclusively and things seemed to be going great! My doctor asked if I thought I had enough milk. I answered yes because I was completely confident that I did. Then he asked if she was doing a good job eating and I told him that she latches on and eats for thirty minutes a feed. His instruction was for me to feed Emily every two hours and then supplement afterwards with one ounce of breast milk via a bottle. He wanted to see me back in three days to ensure she had started gaining weight or we would have a real problem.

I was seriously crushed. I felt like I had failed. How could this have happened? All my other kids got on the breast and were not only successful but gained weight like crazy! This is what is so strange. Just like I assumed my fourth labor would go like the others (and it didn't) I assumed that Emily would get on the breast and flourish like the others! The first twenty-four hours after I saw her doctor and found out she hadn't gained weight were tough. I felt in many ways that I had failed her. But how? I had spent countless hours feeding her. What was going on? When I started to pay closer attention to how she was eating- I realized that she really wasn't effective on the breast. Sure, she was sucking and going through the motions but I realized she wasn't doing those big, milk-drawing sucks that fill her tummy! After three days of feeding the heck out of her, I took her back to the doctor and she had gained eight ounces! So we are back on track and I will just wait for her to wake up more (she is a super sleepy baby) so that she can be more effective.

At home, Emily is loved all day long. The kids constantly want to hold her, she is rarely out of someones arms, she is sweet and calm, and she is getting used to the noisy and crazy world in the Swendsen house! She is eating a lot better (both on the breast and bottle) and is overall doing wonderfully. I have gotten used to not sleeping, Matthew has started really loving Emily and is constantly commenting on what she is doing. He says, "Emily eyes open!", "Emily is happy!", "Emily have keeks (cheeks)", and "Emily is cabby (crabby)". Matthew has adjusted really well but is now obsessed with having me do everything for him. Not Dad or anyone else. He makes sure that I am still a big part of his life. Michael and Claire are doing great with Emily. They have been amazing helpers and will hold her for fifteen minutes at a time so I can either shower, clean the house, or do other things that would be more difficult with a baby in my arms. Michael loves, loves, loves to help her when she cries (mostly when she is getting her diaper or outfit changed). Claire is continuing to be such an amazing 'Little Mommy' for both Emily and Matthew. Damien is continuing to help out with anything and everything and we are all just doing really well.

I really can't remember or imagine life without my sweet Emily. She makes me so happy and I am absolutely in love with her. To think that two weeks have passed is just crazy. In many ways I has been a long two weeks but in so many others, I feel as though I have just given birth to her. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for my little girly.