26 Weeks

Yeah, yeah, yeah! We got a good report again and I am just beyond thrilled. My Mom, Damien, and Matthew were with me and it was a great appointment all around. After many weeks of admiring the baby's spine (that is all that the baby would show us)- we finally got to see the face and the baby put on a show! Baby Choo Choo flipped head down this week and let us see his/her face and those cute chubby cheeks! The baby was really moving around today and my Mom was so touched and amazed to see her little grandchild in action. My cervix measured 4.1 cm this week which is fantastic and the cerclage is still holding. These days, that it all we are hoping for. Something that was new this week was the Fetal Fibronectin test. This test is a predictor for premature labor within two weeks and I am thrilled to report that my results were negative. The test is repeated every two weeks until I am about 35 weeks. I took these tests with Matthew and got a negative every time and I can only hope for the same this time around. I will go back in on Thursday to take the three hour glucose test and hope to get good results from that too.

I am so happy to be in such good shape and am truly enjoying the journey with this little baby. It was even more special to have my Mom here for my appointment so that she could see this baby in action! I got really excited to be able to see the baby's face this week. I could see the eyes, the face shape, and those cheeks. Who are you? How will you change our lives? We can't wait to meet you little baby. Only ten more weeks to go. Hang in there and grow, grow, grow!

Tooth #3 for Michael

When I was a kid, I used to love it when my teeth were loose. I would spend hours wiggling them and loved the challenge on trying to get them out (oh- and I liked the money from the tooth fairy)! This is something that Michael absolutely did not inherit from me. Michael's top left tooth has been loose for months now. Over the months and weeks, it has gotten ridiculously loose but he refuses to let us get in there to take a look at it or pull it out. He complains that he can't eat (I don't blame him) but won't get the darned thing out of there so we can all get some peace around the situation!

Tonight we could actually see the tooth hanging on by a thread and tried desperately to convince him to let us pull it out! No cigar. Finally, I cornered him and likened the 'tooth pulling' experience to that of getting a shot. I told him that the more he worried the worse it would be in the end. If he just let Daddy pull it out- it would all be over and he wouldn't have to worry about the tooth again! I said, 'Just go over to Dad and say that you don't want to talk about it- you just want him to pull it out!' I was as shocked as ever when he went along with my plan and got Damien and told him to pull it out without talking. It was one big tug and the little tooth that lived in Michael's mouth for almost eight years was out! He was so happy! Claire was happy for him too, as she was a bit anxious that the extraction would hurt her brother! Matthew was just confused and kept asking to look at the now vacant spot in Michael's mouth. I think he thought it was magic or something.

I think it is safe to say that we were all relieved to see that the pesky tooth was out! It was even cooler because my Mom was here to witness all of the excitement! Claire quickly pointed out to Michael that now they were tied in 'Tooth Losing' which is apparently a competitive thing between them. The score is now 3-3. If I know Claire, she is going to go to some extreme length to lose one of her other teeth because she likes to one up her brother. So stay tuned. This could get interesting!!!

My Little Jokester

Matthew absolutely cracks me up. He is so in control of everything and has a plan in his head all the time! He listens to conversations when you don't even know he is there, he will get something for me if he hears me talking about it, and just likes play an active part in all of our lives. Well, tonight at dinner- Damien, Michael, Claire and I were telling knock knock jokes once we had finished eating. We were laughing and just having a good time when we heard Matthew say from his highchair, Knock Knock. Surprised that he wanted in on the joke telling we answered, Who's there? He said, Mommy. We said, Mommy Who? Then he answered, Mommy Lisa. We started absolutely cracking up! My little two year old came up with a joke all by himself and all of us thought it was so creative and funny! He didn't stop there either. Once he knew he had a captive audience, he also said these jokes:

Knock knock. Who's There? Daddy. Daddy Who? Daddy Damien.

Knock knock. Who's There? The Beast. The Beast Who? Beast bonjour, bonjour, bonjour.

Knock knock. Who's There? Baby. Baby Who? Baby Choo Choo.

Man, what a funny kid.

So Touched

I knew yesterday was going to be an emotional day for me- but what I wasn't ready for was the outpouring of support, love, and encouragement from my family and friends. The emails, the comments on my blog post, the phone calls, and the well wishes on facebook were so incredible and I thank each and every one of you who took time out of your day to let me know you were thinking about me. I appreciate every one of you who has taken the time to listen, to be of support and give me strength to get through this long emotional journey. Thank you, thank you. I feel truly blessed.

25 Weeks = Deep Breath

Today is a great day for me. The sun is shining, my sister Natalie is here, and I am 25 weeks in this pregnancy! I am so happy and so relieved and just so content. This is always my first huge goal. 25 weeks into Michael's pregnancy- I gave birth to Michael. Despite every effort and a week of total bedrest, we couldn't stop the labor and this ultimately led to his birth. When I reach this point in the pregnancy- I always think of Michael and I remember laying in bed shortly after giving birth to him and wishing I could have done more. Today I have that opportunity!

I went to the doctor today and got great news that my cervix is still 3.6 cm long. There has been little change over the last three weeks and at this point- every week I can pass without bedrest is a true gift!!! The baby measured 1 lb. 14 oz (Michael was 1 lb. 9 oz) and looked very healthy. Of course, it was hiding it's face and wrapped around the placenta- but it still looked cute. Natalie was able to be at the ultrasound with Damien, Matthew, and myself and we all enjoyed getting a glimpse of the baby. The only negative thing at the appointment was that I found out I failed my glucose screen (a test for gestational diabetes) last week and next Thursday, I have to go to the doctor's office for four straight hours for the bigger glucose screen. Really? Of course I had to fail this test! I have passed it in each of my other three pregnancies but had to fail it this time! I had to laugh it off. There is a first time for everything, right?

Last night as I lay with Michael before bed- I explained to him that in just eight short hours, I would've given birth to him in his pregnancy. He understands that the baby in my tummy is small and he doesn't want it to go through what he had to. He then paused and said to me, "Mom, I am sorry if it was my fault." I immediately got choked up and gave him a big hug and told him, "Michael- it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Mommy's fault either. It was just the way you were supposed to come into this world." He thought about it for a second and asked me, "Do you think God planned it this way because He knew I was strong enough?" "Yes, Michael", I whispered. "God knew you were a strong strong boy". The exchange we shared was so touching and so gut wrenchingly difficult for me. I hope he never wasted a second wondering if what happened to him- to us, was his fault. I was so happy we had such a great talk last night. I am glad that he was able to tell me how he felt about his miraculous 'birth day' and voice his concern about being at fault. After he thought about what we had just talked about, he told me he hopes the baby can stay in there for a long time so that he/she doesn't need to get shots like he did when he was a baby. I couldn't agree more.

Today in the ultrasound, I really looked at the baby. The arms, the legs, the sweet head and chest and knew just what he/she would look like on the outside. Perfectly formed and beautiful- but just really small. I speak for the few people who got to see Michael within the first few weeks of his birth when I say that seeing a baby so small and precious is breathtaking. It is so beautiful, so miraculous- but at the same time it is sad to see a baby who didn't get the chance to swim around and grow uninterrupted inside the safety of their Mommy's belly. This regret I have, the sorrow I felt for not being able to keep Michael in my tummy for just one more day or even one more hour- propels me to take it easy and give this baby a fighting chance.

Today is a wonderful day. I will try to not take for granted the seemingly unimportant days that will pass from here on out in this pregnancy. These days are days that would've taken away some of the pain and suffering that Michael had to endure. These are days that I would've seriously sacrificed anything for to have given Michael another day safe and warm in my body. Each day is an opportunity for this baby, for Michael's new little brother or sister, to grow into a bigger, healthier baby and how powerful it feels to be able to make a difference in this little one's life already. Happy 25 weeks baby!

Saint Joseph's Day

Yes, it is that time of year again. The annual 'Wearing of the Red' on St. Joseph's Day! My Dad and Michael share this special saint day as they both have the middle name of Joseph. Michael looks forward to this day year round and this year he wasn't disappointed. He came home from school and talked about how much they learned about St. Joseph and Michael got to tell the class that his Grandpa celebrates his saint day today!

Because I can't travel- we weren't able to fly up north for the big St. Joseph's Day bash my parents host. This year- some 200 people came out to celebrate the 'wearin' of the red' while making valuable donations that will be sent to Malawi, Africa. Michael and his beginnings help start this event and I couldn't be prouder of Michael and my Dad for how their common middle name is changing lives across the world.

There are a few traditions (aside from the spiritual ones) that my kids look forward to on their respective saint day. The first is that Grandpa gets them a special gift for them to enjoy and the second- is that they get to end the day with an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins! This year Grandpa gave Michael some new baseball cleats and a game for his Nintendo DS. I think it was a Club Penguin game but I wasn't sure because Michael tore into the package and I haven't seen much of him since! Thanks again Grandpa for finding a way to make my kids so happy while reminding them of the importance and relevance of their faith. We love you!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In years past, I have put a lot more effort into St. Patrick's Day than I did this year. I did buy Claire a shirt in advance where she brilliantly suggested that I buy a shirt she could wear year round rather than a shirt that only worked on St. Patrick's Day. I knew Michael could pick from a handful of green shirts to wear. And Matthew- well, I didn't get him anything but luckily had a green hat around the house that made it look as though I put an ounce of effort into making him look festive! I am starting to battle myself a bit. Sometimes I want to go out and run a bunch of errands and get some things that I want, but then I need to be more rational and remember to take it easy and just get through this pregnancy. In an effort to multitask and to please my Irish husband- I went to the store to get items for Irish Soda Bread. Would you know they were out of caraway seeds and buttermilk! Opportunity lost because I knew I couldn't justify going to the store the next day to look for the items again! Maybe next year!


Damien got the kids ready for school and drove carpool in the morning in order to give me a little more time to rest because I had an appointment that morning to see my doctor. He did an awesome job making sure they all were dressed in their festive clothes and even did Claire's hair in pigtails with coordinating ribbons. I love that he can do this so well and make Claire look cute even when I am not there to do it. When I picked up carpool after Claire's school day- two of her friends said, "Your Dad did your hair like that? My Dad could never do that!" Claire responded, "Ya, my Dad is good at a lot of things!" It was really cute. I was excited to see Michael after school but also curious if he ate his lunch that day. As I was making lunches the night before St. Patrick's Day- Damien said I should put a little green food coloring in the cream cheese for Michael's bagel. I told him that if I did that- he wouldn't eat it. Apparently that morning, Damien prepped Michael about the festive green bagel and told him that it tastes exactly the same but just looks different. Well, when Michael got home from school- it was no shocker to see the barely touched bagel in his lunch box. He said it tasted moldy! That is the thing about Michael. He loves things that are predictable and when you surprise him and throw him a little off course- he is not comfortable. I must admit though- when I look at the picture of his bagel it makes me a little queasy.

That night during dinner, Claire said to Michael "Today is your day. You are SOOOO Irish!" Damien then said to Claire, "You are just as much as Irish as Michael." Claire responded, "No- I'm Italian and Michael is Irish." We tried to explain that no matter what they look like that they are made of the exact same things. We had a nice dinner (the kids wanted breakfast for dinner) and we tweaked the meal so that it was Irishy. Think green eggs, sausage, green banana pancakes, and cantaloupe. We had a nice night and I was happy I put aside some eggs and pancakes sans green coloring so that Michael would actually eat!

Michael Starts Little League

Michael has been waiting patiently to get his chance to play baseball. Last year, I was a little behind the times and missed the sign-up period. Well this year, I made certain that I would be one of the first people to sign up so that Michael could play! He was so excited to be drafted to the Pirates! His excitement grew even more when we went shopping to buy all the necessary gear for him to play. Let me first start off reminding you that I am from a family with five girls. There are definite accessory differences between boys and girls. I was a little taken aback when I was told that they wear athletic cups at this level. It never even crossed my mind! Just get a laugh picturing me maneuvering my way through Sports Authority looking for this. Eventually- I asked for help because seriously- I had no clue!

When I think back to my childhood- I have so many wonderful memories of playing softball as a little girl. I started playing in Kindergarten and think I finally hung up my cleats after seventh grade. I have so many memories with my Dad that involve throwing the ball around in the backyard, having him hit grounders to me (or rather at me), playing around at the ballpark all day with my sisters (there were three of us playing at one time so chances were we were going to be at the park for a long time), and just developing a real love for the game. This Saturday, Michael had opening ceremonies for Willow Glen Little League. It was a lot of fun and I loved every minute of it. They assembled all the teams in the outfield and then one by one the teams were announced and got to run around the bases. They were playing some great music and while Michael's team was announced- they were playing the song, Put Me In Coach. I don't know if it was just me being emotional or if it is the pregnancy, but I totally started tearing up at the vision of my sweet Michael all dressed up running the bases. It woke me up and made me realize, Wow! Here we are. Here I am! I have a child that is at this awesome stage in life where they get to play Little League and enjoy being a kid to the fullest. I put my sunglasses on so I didn't look like the giant sap that I was and enjoyed watching all these kids have their moment.

Michael had his first game and we couldn't have been more excited for him. In his league- the ball is machine pitched which takes a little getting used to. The speed of the pitch in combination with difficult hand/eye coordination are all things that take a little getting used to. On Michael's first time up- he made contact with the ball a few times- but they were all foul. They get seven pitches to work with so he went to the dugout without a true hit. The second time he was up, he took a few great swings, but no hit. Then he hit the ball and you could see the excitement running through his veins as he touched first and rounded for second only to realize when he got there- that one of his teammates was still there. So he hurried and ran back to first and was safe! His teammates did great and hit him home and he was thrilled to experience scoring a run for the first time! He had a great game and you could just see the confidence he gained by the end of the game. He fielded ground balls, caught a few balls, and got a hit. I was so happy that he had a positive first experience. By the end of the game, my heart had swelled with pride from watching Michael play. I can't wait for the rest of the season and to see him get to know the game better and hopefully develop a real love for it.

From the Mouth of Claire

Hi Everyone! This is Claire. I am so excited that I don't have school tomorrow. I wish we could go to Disneyland but my Mom and Dad said not until the baby is born. I wish I could go on all the rides. My favorite ride is Pirates of the Caribbean in Disneyland. In Disneyland I like the world's biggest lollipop. I am so excited for my Mom to have a baby. I wish I could have a girl baby. I've never had a sister before. But if I have a boy baby- it will still be okay. I wish we could have the baby in ten weeks. I know it is okay to have a baby boy because I saw my baby brother Matthew when he was born and he looked so cute so I know it is going to be okay. But if it is a girl, I will play with her and it would be a lot of fun to do her hair and play dress up with her. It will be a lot of fun no matter what! I am in gymnastics now. The first time I did it- it was really fun. Every Monday I do it. I like doing somersaults, cartwheels, donkey kicks, swinging on the rings, climbing up ropes- it is a lot of fun. Sometimes I have the same teachers at gymnastics. I really really like it. In school- I like coloring rainbows, flowers, and hearts. I like being six years old. The End.

Just like Michael a few weeks back- Claire wanted to blog today. I love how she just says what she is feeling. Too cute.

23 Weeks

Just a quick update to let you know how things are going. Last week at 22 weeks, my cervix had shorted a bit to 3.3 cm (down from 3.9 cm). The doctor told me I really needed to start taking it easy and do one hour or bedrest in the morning and one in the afternoon. Well, this week- my cervix actually gained a little bit of length due to my resting and I am back at 3.5 cm. I am still doing the light bedrest but it is no big deal at all. We were finally able to get a decent (albeit quick) glance at the baby's face. It's been two straight weeks where we haven't been able to see the face because the baby was head down and burrowing into the cervix. The baby flipped around this week and is temporarily breech but still pressed it's face into the side of the uterus. We were able to rule out facial abnormalities and now just need to hope that the baby cooperates next week so we can see the profile (the last thing to complete the physical ultrasound started at 21 weeks). I am feeling good and gradually inching along to my first big goal of 25 weeks. Just a quick little post to let you know we are doing great and feeling the same!!!

Beyond Sick

There is nothing more frightening to me than suspecting that one of my kids is sick. My thought process usually works like this. I have a little hot flash imagining having to take care of my child and then start major hot flashes when I think of all of them getting sick at the same time. Then I usually try and think about what kind of virus we are dealing with. The thoughts of vomiting, diarrhea, sore throat, and no sleep stream through my brain and then I always think to myself, 'Do I have enough Tylenol and Motrin?' Once the hot flashes are gone, I try and really evaluate what we are dealing with. This involves announcing to the whole house that 'We are on Operation No Sharing!!!' and I usually quarantine the sick child on the couch. Of course I have this little pipe dream that maybe we won't all get sick. 'Maybe because I acted so quickly we will minimize the damage of this nasty little virus'. Then the image of my now sick child sharing his/her apple with Matthew earlier in the day sets in and I know that we are screwed. Better hunker down and prepare for the misery ahead!

No one likes to be sick and even worse- no one likes it when one or more of your kids are sick at the same time. These negative and overwhelming thoughts can pour through your head but the only thing that makes it better is weathering the storm (and a bowl of ice cream before bed). Michael had had a sore throat for a few days and soon Claire did too. Then- that same day I got a strep throat notice from his school so I was convinced they both had it. They couldn't eat- couldn't sleep. Basically- they were miserable. I medicated them as much as I could and really tried to make them comfortable. Claire started barfing but luckily she is the most controlled barfer I know and made it in the garbage can I set next to her bed. OF COURSE- they both really got sick on a Friday night which is just lovely because the pediatrician's office is closed. I did manage to get them both in on Sunday morning for a strep culture that ultimately showed up as negative. I guess the virus going around is one that mirrors strep but isn't strep. Monday morning, Michael screamed in pain that his ear was popping off his head. I took him in Monday and sure enough- he had an ear infection. They both stayed home from school until Wednesday and I was close to being at my wit's end.

Later that week, (when Damien was in Chicago for three days of work) I noticed drainage from Michael's ear that was NOT normal. I will spare you the details but I knew for a fact that he had ruptured his eardrum (he ruptured his eardrum two years ago and it looked the same) . I waited a few days because I knew he was on antibiotics but it just kept getting worse. I made him an appointment on Friday and sure enough- his eardrum was all kinds of yucky. I had to throw away the old antibiotics and get a new one and wouldn't you know that he had an allergic reaction to it? Damien flew in on Friday night and as he walked in the door at 10:30 p.m. I pushed him back out of it and told him to go to the store to get Benadryl fast. Michael was struggling and we almost had to take him into the ER because we couldn't control the negative side effects of the meds. To make a long story even longer- we eventually had to give up the oral antibiotics and instead opt for a major dose of antibiotics via shots in Michael's thighs. Ouch! It did the trick and thankfully- I was able to send Michael to school on Wednesday making this the second week in a row he missed two days of school!

I then made the biggest mistake ever and proclaimed our house 'Illness Free' which of course only jinxed me further as Matthew started to fever one day later (which lasted for three miserable and sleepless nights). Seriously. I thought I was going to go nuts! Oh, yeah. And I am pregnant and trying to take it easy. This was no easy streak of illness to get over. By the end, Damien and I were spent. Sometimes I think I am crazy to worry so much when I detect illness in one of my kids. Then I remember miserable viruses like this one and remember why I am so crazy about it.

I am going to go out on a limb here and declare our house healthy. Did I again jinx myself? I guess we'll all just have to wait and see!

My Little Big Man

This picture was taken back in 2005 when Michael was 4 and Claire was 3. I remember never being able about to think of Michael and Claire without each other. It was almost as if they came together in a package and just couldn't be separated. Because they are so close in age, they hung out together all day and really didn't know life without the other. Trying to think into the future was difficult for me back then because I knew that they would have to separate and the idea of that was a lot for me to handle.

Kids are resilient and while we had many days where Claire missed Michael when he was in preschool, they eventually got used to being apart for a few hours every day. They have adjusted nicely to the separation and have made the adjustment every time one of them starts a new routine (i.e. preschool, kindergarten, first grade).

The sight of the two of them together still tickles me to this day. While they do argue and bug the heck out out of each other at times, they are truly connected in their hearts and need each other. I am writing about their relationship because the today they had the sweetest little exchange I have seen in a long time.

It was a typical school morning as we pulled into the school parking lot for drop off. Because I am trying to take it easy and not do anything that I don't have to do- I thought maybe Michael could walk Claire into Kindergarten. The school parking lot is set up in a way where you can only walk in certain areas and one of the rules is that Kindergartners need to be walked into the Kindergarten courtyard by an adult or a sibling. Michael took his new challenge very seriously and told me he would take care of it. Both Michael and Claire left the car and instead of walking in front of her (like he always does) Michael walked beside her and made conversation. As I watched the two of them walk away from me- I had one of those moments where I knew I did well for them. I taught them to love each other and it brought me great satisfaction to see them interacting this way. I watched Michael walk Claire through both crosswalks and in an instant, they both disappeared from my view into the Kindergarten courtyard. I craned my neck for a while to see if I could see Michael come out from the courtyard but after a few minutes, I left for home.

When Claire got home from school today- I could hardly wait to hear how things went in the morning. I think I felt a little guilty that I didn't walk her in myself so I wanted to make sure she was okay with how things went. My instructions to Michael were to walk her in, take her to the bench, and then say goodbye. Well, Claire told me that's not how things went. Michael did walk Claire in and did walk her to the bench. What he didn't do was leave. Instead, he stood with all the Moms and Dads on the side of the courtyard for about five minutes and waited for Claire's teachers to come out and ring the bell for class to start. My heart melted. She told me he waved goodbye to her and then headed to first grade. I was blown away by Michael's devotion to Claire. I loved the confidence he had to stand with all the Moms and Dads and wait (and I am sure he waited with his hands in his pockets as he always does when he is feeling grown up or cool). I love that without being asked, he knew the right thing to do for Claire (and for my heart). This expression of love, the very thing that binds these two beautiful siblings- was so clear and true this morning. I gushed to him when he got home from school about how proud I was of him. I also let him off the hook and told him that when he helps me drop off Claire in the Kindergarten courtyard- he really truly could just walk her to the bench and leave. Whether he will do this in the future or not is not for certain. But what is certain is that Michael loves his little sister Claire and I look forward to seeing these two as they grow older together. My little babies . . .

Cute Matthew-isms

Matthew is really cracking us up lately! I have to write a few of these down before I forget them because they are so funny!

1. Matthew calls himself Mah-Mah. However, he also calls himself Math-me. He says this because Damien said say Math-you and in his typical fashion, Matthew turned the tables and said Math-me!

2. If I ask Matthew how much he loves me, he stretches his arms out as far as they will go and says, "Big much!" I love this!

3. Lately, I have been telling Matthew he needs a haircut. He then called his hair fuzzy and reminds me he needs a haircut by saying, "Cut, cut, cut, cut . . ." really fast while pretending to cut his hair. Which reminds me, I should really make sure the scissors are out of his reach. None of my kids have cut their own hair yet and I don't want to start now!

4. If Matthew wants to watch a TV show, he will just ask me, "Mom, show?" But if he wants to watch a movie he will ask me, "Mom, big show?" Pretty creative I think!

5. Matthew has been going poop on the toilet for about six months now. At first he would tell me, "Poop!" and I would take him. But over the past few months- he will run up to me and yell "Poop Bad!" I love the urgency and it certainly gets me moving quickly to get him to the toilet.

6. Matthew has picked up some of my bad snacking habits. One of them is eating Wheat Thins with a little bit of onion and chive cream cheese on top. (Don't knock it until you've tried it!) He is so funny and won't eat the cracker without it. One day, he suckered Damien into getting him the crackers from the pantry and then Matthew proceeded to open the refrigerator and get out the cream cheese and handed it to Damien saying, "On cracker."

7. Matthew loves shoes. He rarely walks around the house barefoot. I am sure this will change in the springtime, but he loves wearing shoes! Any shoes. Tennis shoes, slippers, dress shoes- it doesn't matter. Oh, and he also knows who gave him all the shoes he has. If he puts on his tennis shoes, he will say "Nonna shoes". If he puts on his slippers, he says "Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas" to signify Santa gave them to him.

8. If my shirt isn't fully covering my ever growing belly- Matthew will come over and pull my shirt down saying, "Close Baby!"

I could go on but these are just the funny things about Matthew that are in my mind right now. Funny funny, Matthew.