Emily's First Day of Preschool

Today was Emily's first day of school.  There weren't many surprises as we had just been at the school two days earlier for her orientation.  She stayed near us as she played on the playground before the bell rang but as soon as it was time, she excitedly ran into the line for her class!  "All aboard the choo choo train!  Chugga chugga chugga," said Miss Naheed.  And like a good little girl, she followed her teacher into her classroom and gave us a small wave goodbye.  No tears.  No hesitation.  And just like that, she became a little school girl.

As we walked our the front door toward our car, I was overcome with emotion.  I have never cried when the kids started school.  For whatever reason, it always felt right.  They felt comfortable.  All was okay in the world.  Yet, here I was.  Fourth child entering preschool and I was a mess.  Damien and I silently sat in the car for a minute.  He was giving me my space and I was desperately trying to figure out why I was such a mess.  And then it hit me.

All of Emily's firsts, are Damien and my lasts.  Her first step meant it was our last baby to walk.  Her first day of preschool meant our last child was starting school.  With each and every one of her new accomplishments, I have to say goodbye to a life that I have grown so comfortable with.  I have always had babies.  Like when Michael started preschool, I went home to my babies.  Same with Claire, and of course Matthew.  But Emily's progress signifies something very different.  It provokes change.  A new way of thinking and honestly, a life I am not accustomed to.  I have dreamed of going home to no kids!  How glorious!  I couldn't wait!  But it is much different to experience than it is to imagine.  Today, to say the least, was bittersweet.

We came to pick Emily up and she was all smiles.  It made my heart happy and felt wonderful to see her starting this new life with independence!  She was now experiencing life away from me . . . and she was happy.  She showed us the work she did in class and was beaming.  I know that a lot of these changes will be hard for both of us, but I think it will all be okay.  In the meantime, it will be baby steps for me.

We took Emily out to lunch at Panera Bread and she was cracking us up.

• "There was a girl that was crying at school because she missed her mom and I was like, whatever."

While it wasn't the most sensitive thing she could have reported about her day, it sure shows how confident she is to be without me.  And her one liners (she is ridiculously sarcastic, and sometimes inappropriate) kept coming.  One after another.

• "Mom- can you take me somewhere special since its my first day of preschool?" said Emily. 
• "No, we just took you to lunch, bought you a cinnamon roll and a lollipop and Mom got you a Minion shirt!  That's a lot of stuff and you should be happy with that," explained Dad. 
• "Ya, that's only four things and if you don't get me five, then you're fired for the rest of your life!" Emily said through laughter to Damien.

She is a hoot.  Good thing we get her sense of humor!  Happy first day of preschool, Sweet Emily!