27 Weeks

Well, believe it or not, I made it another week without bedrest. Because I am seen weekly by my doctor, we were a little concerned on how I would been seen this week due to the holiday and the offices being closed. My doctor said that she would come in on her own time and open up the office just to see us! So the morning after Thanksgiving, we met our doctor as planned for our appointment. We feel so blessed that she is so invested in the success of our pregnancy that she takes time out of her own life, to ensure the safety and well-being of ours.

The ultrasound looked good and thankfully, I still have enough cervix intact to keep me from going on partial bedrest. However, she did let us know that there is a good possibility that next week will be the week I go on bedrest. But because of the good results this week, I will get into December before I go down. I never in a million years thought that a cerclage could be so effective, especially considering the outcomes of my other pregnancies. But here I am again, feeling so lucky and blessed to be so healthy. The baby looked great and I posted a picture on this page to show you Baby #3's profile at 26+ weeks (click on the image to make it bigger). I still have no vibe on the sex of the baby, but he/she sure is cute!

Something new at this weeks appointment was a test called a Fetal Fibronectin screen. It is a swab they take from the cervix to detect a certain chemical which is a precursor to labor. If the chemical is present and the test comes back positive, you will most likely go into labor within the coming 2 weeks. With a positive result I would have to go directly to the hospital, be given steroid shots for the baby's lungs, and be admitted and observed. Then I would be on full bedrest from this point (in the hospital or at home). If the test comes back negative, you wait another week and take it again. Good news for us . . . our test came back negative! So we got a great report this week all around and will just take it easy and see what next week brings.

A Thanksgiving to Remember

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. Because of the unpredictability of my condition, and because I am summoned to stay close to home, the Swendsen clan traveled south to have Thanksgiving at our house. We have always wanted to host a holiday and jumped at the chance to bake our first turkey and entertain. So we prepared to pack 20 people into our house for a warm and toasty celebration.

The day before- we celebrated with the kids at their preschool for their Thanksgiving Feast. Michael opted to be a Pilgrim and Claire an Indian. It was very cute and I was so happy that I was feeling good and given the chance to experience yet another event with the kids. There was no real program, they just put on the hats they had made in class and then lined up to eat turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and some fruit salad. Claire was especially proud because her class made the fruit salad and her teacher told me that she chopped and chopped all morning. Miss Ellen asked her how she knew how to chop and she said that her Mommy does it all day long. I am not sure about that and I certainly haven't been chopping anything these days!

Thanksgiving morning, I put on the Macy's Day Parade and tried to encourage the kids to sit and watch, but Michael told me there was just too much talking and not enough kid stuff on it. So we watched it on Tivo a little later so I could fast forward through the interviews and let them watch the performances and balloons. They liked it, but not as much as I thought they would.

We figured out a game plan for the meal and put the turkey in at noon and hoped for the best! We completely transformed our kitchen/eating area and were able to set tables to sit 20. It was looking good! Thankfully, Damien's sisters came down early and were able to watch the kids and help Damien clean and get ready because truthfully, I am pretty useless these days! I sat on a stool when I was in the kitchen and laid down to rest quite a bit (thanks to their help!). People came at about 4:30 and the house smelled wonderful! We had appetizers and drinks, and then we ate around 5:45 p.m. The turkey turned out great! Damien was quite proud because it was his first try and it was a success! Everything was great except someone lit a fire in our fireplace without opening the flue (it was pretty smokey and set the fire alarm off), a cloth napkin caught on fire at the dinner table after being placed on top of a votive, and to top off the fire hazards, a name tag got into a votive and started on fire, too. Needless to say that after the third offense, I kindly asked that everyone blow out the candles on their tables.

It was a very nice evening and I have to give Damien some serious credit for pulling off such a successful event. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love to entertain and put on a party! So, needless to say, it was hard for me to relinquish control and take a back seat on Thanksgiving. Not only did he cook, set up the tables, and serve the dinner, but he also stayed up until 2:00 a.m. with his sister Heavenly and washed all the dishes, mopped the floors, and vacuumed. When I came down the next morning, it looked like nothing had ever taken place in our house. It was spotless. I appreciate everyone's efforts this Thanksgiving and thank you for letting me have a wonderful holiday without having to stress or do too much.

I Love My Mom

Sometimes you don't know what you need until someone gives it to you. Throughout the last few weeks, okay months, I have been getting through the days and trying to keep my life together. Amidst this craziness, I have pushed a lot of my emotions aside so that I am able to stay positive and move forward. Last Sunday, I picked up my Mom at the airport and was really excited to see her. I haven't seen her since August and back them I was still blonde, the kids weren't in school yet, and I wasn't showing at all. A lot has changed since then! So, you can only imagine how unbelieveable it was to be able to share all of these new things with my Mom! When we picked her up, she look great and we were ready for 8 days with her! The kids squeeled from the back seat and yelled, Nonna! (Nonna is 'grandma' in Italian and it is what they call her.)

We went directly to Starbucks and then to mass and it was so peaceful to have her there with me. My sister, Jill, had her first baby in October and while it was thrilling to be pregnant with her, I didn't want my family to leave her and come and visit- just in case they missed the birth of her first child. So everyone was on a holding pattern and after Kyle's was born in October, we planned a trip down for my Mom. When we booked the trip, we were sure that she would be coming down here to help us with the kids because I would be on bedrest. But much to everyone's surprise, I was still up and walking. I was able to do normal things with her and just enjoy her company. She brought the kids to school with me, pushed me in a wheelchair (just to be careful) around the mall and other stores, and got to come to my 2 doctor's appointments and see the baby! We were spoiled with her home cooked meals and appreciated every ounce of help around the house. By the end of the trip, Damien asked her how much she charged per hour to keep the house up and running! Her help was tremendous and we really needed and appreciated everything she did.

Because my Mom was here for 8 days, there was a lot of time to relax and enjoy life. She was here for my birthday (which was great) and we never felt rushed or ready for the trip to end. Instead, when it was time for her to go home, it felt okay. Sure, I would rather she stay here forever, but the trip and the priceless time we had to share in eachother's company, without the pressure of bedrest or any baby drama, was perfect. I feel renewed both spiritually and mentally after my Mom's visit. She was there everyday when I was on bedrest in the hospital with Claire, and she reminded me how truly lucky and blessed I am to still be pregnant and walking. I am looking forward to both my Mom and Dad visiting in December for an early Christmas with Damien, myself and the kids.

Mom, thank you for everything you did for us this past week. I know that it was such a thrill for you to see me, Damien and the kids- but we cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have you all to ourselves for 8 straight days. I love you, Mom!

26 Weeks and Walking!

Yes, that's right. It was a great doctor's appointment today! I was really excited to take my mom to the appointment so that she could see the baby on the ultrasound. We know that at one of these appointments, we are going to get the news that I am on bedrest. So we went into this one- the way we always do, ready for anything. My mom was so happy to see the baby's face and arms and she promised me that if given the chance to peak at the gender- she wouldn't. The baby looked great. Lots of movement this week and the baby was head down. And when the doctor informed us that things looked great, we just took a deep breath and were speechless. After all we've been through in the past; it is amazing to be in this place. A healthy baby and no imminent danger. A lot of our friends and family will tell us, "You'll go full term" or "You won't go on bedrest until after the first of the year", we shrug it off because it is just too hard to live outside the realm of the coming week. I think this is part of the reason why we do so well emotionally when it comes to high risk pregnancies. We know that it is important to be hopeful, but we are grounded in the idea that we need to live day by day, week to week, and be ready for anything! But apparently, we can relax for a brief moment and find some peace that we are okay for now. It is amazing to me that I wasn't on bedrest for my birthday, and that I will be able to celebrate Thanksgiving on my feet! So, I will enjoy these accomplishments and press reset on my brain in a few moments and prepare yet again, for another appointment.

A Great Birthday

Today is my birthday and it is a good day! For many months now, I knew that my birthday was going to intersect with my 25th week of pregnancy. I often wondered if I would celebrate my birthday at home on bedrest, in the hospital on bedrest, or in the NICU with a new little baby. The one little option I failed to recognize is that I might spend my birthday on my feet!

My mom flew down this Sunday to 'help me with the kids while I was on bedrest'. We had booked this trip a month ago trying to figure out coverage for my children once I went on bedrest. She would sure be a good help, and as an added bonus, she would be here for my birthday. So you can only imagine how wonderful it feels to not be on bedrest and have my birthday be the most important event of the day. She had lit my favorite candle and brewed some decaf coffee for me before I came downstairs this morning. On the kitchen table was a pile of gifts from my parents and my sisters and it was then that I realized that today was going to be a really great day! We went to out to lunch at one of my favorite lunch restaurants (Tomatina's), came back and watched a movie during the kids nap time (I rented a chick-flick so Damien was thrilled that I had someone else to watch it with!). And I guess that would bring us to this very moment. As I am laying on the couch writing this journal entry, my mom is playing Memory with Michael on the floor, Claire is upstairs- adament that she play by herself for a while (in other words, we need to make sure Michael doesn't bug her), Damien is upstairs working, and the most rewarding feeling in the world . . . I'm still pregnant!

It has been a wonderful day and all I can think about is how truly blessed I am. All day today, I just kept saying, "It's my birthday, and I am walking around!" Life is good and I will continue to take it a day at a time.

My Little Italians

I take any and every opportunity to call my kids Italian. Sure, one of my children has red hair but hello . . . haven't you ever heard of Mario Batali? At the end of the day, there are very few people who are 100% anything anymore. My grandparents were all 100% of a certain ethnicity- making my parents a perfect 50/50 mix of their parents. So you can see how the cycle continues and before we know it, we are all a little culturally watered down. What I find interesting is that most people tend to relate to one of their ethnicities more than the others. For me, I tend to identify with being Italian. It doesn't mean that I don't respect or appreciate any of my other ethnicities but I was raised with an Italian flair. Many of our meals and holidays were centered around Italian cuisine and traditions and are carried out even today. This is not to say that my grandparents who were not Italian didn't keep their heritage and it's traditions, it just so happened that the Italian culture became the middle ground of sorts for us all to come together as one. With extended family, we would gather often at the dinner table that was full of pastas, meatballs, breads, and roasted vegetables. These tastes and smells enhanced my appreciation of Italian food and the Italian culture.

So many parents are raising their children, the next generation, who have so many different ethnicities. It is hard to find the perfect balance of how to let your children know where they came from. My children are Italian, Irish, German, Swedish, and Danish. Because of my dark features, I assumed that my children would look Italian. So when I had Michael, it was hard to lump the red hair and blue eyes with being Italian. However, because he looks the way he does, I have been forced to re-examine who I am because I have to be more than Italian, or Michael wouldn't look like Michael. My parents were both raised with one Italian parent, so it was easy to keep the heritage alive. It is much more of a challenge to raise our children and infuse certain ethnicities when Damien and I have nothing culturally in common. So we both take responsibility to open their eyes to all of the cultures which make them so unique.

So when my parents came back from Italy with Italian soccer uniforms for the kids, I couldn't resist the opportunity to see them suited up Italian! (Plus, I knew it would bring a smile to my dad's face!). And while I wouldn't be totally opposed to lederhosen or potato sacks, for today, the Italian uniforms reign supreme. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

25 Weeks!

25 Weeks . . . Such a magical number. Since the beginning of this pregnancy, I have wanted to get to this point. At times I was fearful that I wouldn't make it here. But here I am and if you could see the smile on my face you would know that I am, for the first time in a long time, feeling a great deal of relief. Today, I had a doctor's appointment and we were thrilled to hear once again that things look great and the cerclage is doing its job. The baby, who was head down last week, was breech today and kicking the cervix repeatedly! While the doctor was trying to measure my cervix via ultrasound, you could see the baby wiggle his/her toes into the lowest area possible and it was kind of funny. The doctor assured us that they baby can do no harm by kicking me there, but it was just funny that this area is so closely monitored and here the baby is- kicking it away! So the doctor gave my belly a shake and the baby moved away so she could get a good measurement.

I NEVER thought that I would make it to November without bedrest and here I am, entering another week of freedom. My mom is flying down this weekend to stay with us for a week and I will actually be able to be out of bed! The idea is just so crazy! I will be able to go out to dinner for my birthday, go places with my mom and the kids, and just be normal for a little while longer. Of course, I will continue to take it easy and rest like I have been doing, but it just makes me feel a little more normal. I feel so happy that this baby is getting a great chance to stay nice and warm in my tummy and grow like every baby should.

24 Week Ultrasound Picture

Here is an ultrasound picture that was taken Monday at 24+ weeks. Are you a little boy or a little girl? For those of you that have a hard time deciphering these pictures, the baby is on his/her back and is looking at the ceiling. The picture was taken of the baby's profile. You can click on the picture (or any picture on this blog) to make it bigger!

My New Nephew, Kyle!

I wanted to share some exciting news about my new nephew . . .

IT'S A BOY!!!

Kyle Christopher

Born October 18th

8 lbs. 14 oz

20.5 inches

To my sister Jill and her husband Brian

We had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of little Kyle and he made quite the debut on October 18th. Jill did an amazing job with the labor and she and her new little family are doing very well. I am so proud of her and I just know that she will make a fantastic mother. Brian helped her through the birth and is so happy with his little boy!

The hardest part of the whole situation is that because I am so high-risk with my pregnancy I am not able to fly. So needless to say, I haven't been able to meet him yet. And because of this, I have pretty much known since the day I found out I was pregnant that I would miss Kyle's birth. I had been mentally preparing for this day, but nothing could prepare me for the way I felt the day he was born. I was so sad to be missing such a big day in Jill's life. I know that she understood, but it was really difficult for me (and I am sure for her, too). Luckily, I was able to get up to the minute updates and pictures from my family and I felt as though I was included as much as possible.

Kyle is so beautiful and is a good baby, although over the phone I call him Mr. Squeaky because he even squeaks and grunts in his sleep, which is so manly of him! From my conversations with my sister and from the things I hear from my family, Jill has really transitioned into the role as a Mom so naturally and with ease. Although I ache to meet my little nephew, I know I will in due time. The other day my Mom put the phone to Kyle's ear and I told him that I loved him and that I was growing a little friend for him to play with. Soon this will all be behind us and will make more sense. Until then, I will continue to make daily phone calls to hear him squeak and let him know that his Auntie loves him very very much.

Picture Perfect

Okay, before you have a heart attack, please note that this is not a current picture of us. This picture was taken by one of our friends while we were in Paris with Michael 5 1/2 years ago. It is one of my favorite pictures from the whole experience because it is so symbolic. It was taken about 2 weeks before we came home and Michael had grown to a hefty 4 pounds. While I was in the NICU picking up Michael, Damien stood with our friend Kevin in the viewing area. I had no idea that this particular picture was being taken, but now love what this picture means to me. When I look at this picture, I see Michael and me as representing the 3 of us stuck in Paris, the window representing the ocean which separated us from our family and friends, and Damien representing all of you who were on the other side of the world. So many people wanted to be connected with Michael and the whole experience, but the truth was, no one could really imagine the life we were living. We were 25 years old and so unprepared for what we were dealing with. I often wonder why this happened to us and why it happened in another country. When I think back to it, it all seems so dreamlike. When I talk to people about it, I feel like I am making up this lavish story that couldn't possibly be true. When we revisited Paris a year and a half ago, it was surreal to be walking down the same streets and visiting the hospital- with Michael at our side. We experienced so much pain, disappointment, and loss of hope in this city but so much of that was washed away as a recovered and healthy Michael chased the pigeons down the beautifully ornate streets. It is amazing how quickly you can be healed from this type of experience- but equally as amazing that no matter what, you will never forget it.

Michael's story has been stuck in my mind lately- popping in and out throughout the day and I know why it is happening. This week in my pregnancy is that same week in which Michael was born in his pregnancy. I try to find comfort in that I am finally to this place again-24/25 weeks, but when I think of him and how sick he was and how much he struggled- I can't bear to imagine having to witness that again. These feelings will me to my couch where I plop down to rest so that I give this baby the greatest chances of being healthy when he/she is born. Michael is my miracle and although I witnessed some of the most amazing things in my life during his hospitalization, I am content with his story being the most miraculous of them all.

Another Week of Freedom

I know a lot of you are looking at this blog to see how my pregnancy is going so I wanted to give everyone an update. Things are going well. I am almost 24 weeks and had a doctor's appointment today to see if bedrest time was here . . . and thankfully, we were granted another week of freedom! Everything is looking good, but at some point, bedrest will come knocking at my door and I will obey it's every rule! I currently go in for weekly ultrasounds to see how the pregnancy is going and to be pro-active and stop/slow any problem that is on its way. These ultrasounds are so reassuring and are also a great opportunity for us to see our little baby growing. We aren't going to find out the sex until the baby is born, so you'll have to sit tight and wait like the rest of us!

This pregnancy has been so different from the other two. In Michael's pregnancy, at 24 weeks I was 2 cm dilated and in BIG trouble! (I ended up giving birth to him at 25 weeks). With Claire's pregnancy, at 24 weeks I was admitted as quickly as possible to the hospital because I was starting to dilate. So it is a real thrill to be 24 weeks and know that the cerclage is working. I don't plan on tempting fate, so I am taking it easy at home and enjoying all of the wonderful support and help from Damien. He has made life so easy for me and has really taken on some major responsibility at home.

The kids are really excited about the baby and are often at my belly talking to the baby or rubbing my tummy. Both Michael and Claire are really curious on how this whole baby thing works and ask such cute questions. Does the baby cry in there? Can the baby see me through your belly button? Can you eat this candy corn so the baby can have it? But the funniest thing to date is listening to Claire talk about how the baby gets food. She will tell you, “Okay, so. My mom eats something and chews it and it goes down her throat and into her stomach. Then it goes through the umbrella cord (umbilical) and into the baby’s bottom and then into the baby’s stomach. And that’s how it goes.” And believe me, you don’t want to try and correct her because she is positive she is right!

Michael is very nurturing and concerned that the baby is okay. He’ll always checks in with me to make sure the baby is fine. Did the baby sleep okay? How are the baby’s legs? Does the baby like swimming in the bag of water? These are precious times and I am so proud of my kids and their enthusiasm for their little brother or sister.

So, that is it . . . for now. I will check in again after my next appointment and update you on how things are going. Until then, thanks for your support and prayers. They really mean a lot!

Warmth, Family, and Hot Chocolate

Sometimes I wish I could be 8 again. Maybe it's because I loved being a kid. Maybe it's because the memories in my mind are still so vivid that if I close my eyes and think back, I can magically transport myself to my living room. "Get your blankets!" my Mom would yell and suddenly the sound of tiny feet could be heard pitter-pattering down the hallway. This was a ritual of sorts for my family around any holiday. We would always gather together to watch the seasonal cartoon specials that were broadcast to millions of households around the country. My mom would pop popcorn and make us hot chocolate as we spread our blankets and pillows around the room to be able to watch the show in the most comfortable way possible. She'd turn down the lights and for a few moments- our noisy household was reduced to a deafening silence as we all sat around anticipating the start of the show.

I would have to say that my favorite seasonal cartoon was Dr. Seuss', 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' but a very very close second was, "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown". There was something about Halloween that filled me with excitement. As we all watched, we were oblivious to the wind howling outside, knocking branches around- turning our driveway into a virtual blanket of wet leaves. This was what fall was supposed to be about; warmth, family, and hot chocolate. And there we were, creating memories that would last a lifetime.

Now that I am a mother, I carry on the tradition of seasonal cartoon specials. In fact, this year, the four of us huddled around each other, cozy with cookies and hot chocolate and watched Charlie Brown get duped by Lucy for the umpteenth time. Will he ever learn that she will never let him kick the football? Will Linus ever leave the pumpkin patch and go trick-or-treating or is the allure of the Great Pumpkin just too much for him to abandon? In a world that is constantly changing, we can all take comfort in the traditions we have had since we were children. No matter how badly we want Charlie to get the best of Lucy, it will never happen. So these shows, like a recipe past down for generations, become a part of our history. And as the world and our families grow and change, we can for a brief moment, get a piece of our childhood back if we just take the time to be a kid again. I can only hope that the traditions passed down to me become deeply rooted in the hearts of my children. And maybe someday, I will get a call from Claire telling me about how wonderful it was to cuddle up with her children and thank me for passing on the tradition to her. Which reminds me, I owe my mom a phone call.

Happy Halloween!

Michael Playing Soccer

Kids in the Pool

Claire Playing Soccer

The 'Grandpa Shirt'

This week the kids went on their first field trip of the year to Casa De Fruta in Hollister. We rode the bus (not as fun as it sounds when you realize that there were three of us in one seat), but it was an experience none the less. The kids looked adorable in their Halloween shirts. Claire wanted to wear this black pumpkin shirt that my dad gave her last year for Halloween. How she remembered that she still had it is beyond me. So from this point on, she says it should be referred to as the 'Grandpa Shirt'. Michael wore a glow-in-the-dark spider shirt and felt equally as cool! I must say that as a parent of little kids for the past 5 years, it is so rewarding to be able to do 'big kid' things like take them on a field trip. I am also completely aware that with the birth of #3, I will be thrown back into the tedious tasks of packing a diaper bag and bracing for the 'no sleep' regimen. So it was a joy to take in the lack of real effort I had to put in to see the kids being so independent and well behaved at the farm. Knowing that my time is limited in terms of being able to get out of bed and experience things with the kids, I breathed in every moment of the trip. Watching them interact with their friends, Michael pushing Claire over into a mountain of pumpkins (he claims it was an accident), kicking up dust as we walked over to ride an old fashioned train, eating brown bag lunches on a hill with peacocks prancing around. I feel like time has slowed so that I can enjoy each and every experience life has to offer. It's funny, when you are pregnant- time goes by so slowly. You can't wait to be just a week more advanced in your pregnancy and it seems like you could grab the minutes, which hang like fog on a crisp fall morning, right before your eyes. I have been working hard to change the way I am thinking about the passage of time. Choosing to take the slow process of pregnancy and enjoy the little things that make my children unique. A lot of mom's worry about how when a new baby comes they won't be able to find love to give to the new baby. How will they balance the attention with 3 eager children wanting you all to themselves? I am sure this is no easy task (as I will soon find out) but I haven't taken a second to worry about finding love for all 3. I know it is there and always will be.

Open Yourself Up To The Journey

So here I am. I'm over half way through the my third pregnancy with no real news other than the baby looks great and things are stable (for now). What I can't seem to shake is this cloud of uncertainty which seems to follow me wherever I go. The life cycle of a pregnancy is filled with its ups and downs. The ebb and flow of "Oh, everything is looking great" to "Um, everything is not looking that great anymore". Pregnant women are constantly dealing with the 'what if's' and the 'oh no's', but somehow every pregnant woman gets through it. And when it is all over, we are rewarded with our journey and each of us has our own story to tell. After two difficult pregnancies filled with unbelievable and moving stories that some might think were make believe, I am again journeying down a road where the the bumps and turns are not mapped out.

When Michael was born 5 years ago, I remember feeling so discouraged and angry at what had happened. Why me? Why this poor baby? It was so frustrating to have absolutely no control over his situation. No matter how hard I wanted to help him, all I could do was wait for him to get better. I sat day in and day out next to his incubator and watched every move he made. I was his mother and I would not let him down. My little boy, born in a foreign country with the hope and prayers of so many parts of the world resting on his itty bitty shoulders, came through his pain like the champion we knew he was.

So when I was pregnant with Claire and was faced yet again with the threat of preterm labor and bedrest I was surprised to see control of the situation land directly in my lap. At times I felt that God was testing me- saying from the heavens, "Let's see what that Lisa Swendsen can do with this situation . . ." Instead of being forced to deal with the grim situation as I did with Michael, I had some control and believe me- I took full advantage of that. I didn't tempt fate. Instead I threw fate out the window and for 73 days in the hospital, I journeyed to one of the most amazing events of my life- the birth of my daughter Claire, a full-term baby Claire. So much of my strength on bedrest came from the pain and suffering from which I couldn't spare Michael. I remember thinking that a mom's most important job was to keep her baby safe and away from harm's way, but somehow this rule didn't apply to the way I mothered him. By the time I was pregnant with Claire, I had recovered from a lot of these feelings, but like any good mother if you just barely scratched my surface, I oozed guilt and resentment for what I felt was my fault. The experience of bedrest changed me in so many ways. I realized how strong I was, how much I loved Michael and his soon to be sister, that any journey is easier if you allow God to join you on it, and realized that so much of overcoming life struggles is mental. If you put your mind to something and believe in it with all of your heart, you will have a great chance at conquering it.

Years removed from both of these situations and in many ways healed, I again open myself up to the journey. Many think I am crazy. "Why would you put yourself through this again?", I've heard. What some people don't understand is that I feel I was put me on this Earth to be a mother. Plain and simply- a mother. So if I have to lay in bed for two months to become a mother again, so be it. Poke me, prod me, do what you want. It is worth it. Two months of your life is nothing when you consider that these months provide you with a new little life in which you can cherish forever. When your life revolves around wiping tears from your child's cheek, holding their beautiful little hands, or watching them giggle with their sibling- not much else matters. So as I prepare for whatever my journey holds for me, I remember that whatever else I accomplish outside of the realm of being a mother- is icing on my already delicious cake.