Hope Restored

Well, today was another doctor's appointment and Damien and I were a little more laid back and relaxed than we have been in the past. It feels good to know that we are in a safe place (32 1/2 weeks) just in case we get word that it is time for the baby to come! But as luck would have it, things still look pretty good. The appointment started out with a progesterone shot, followed by the Fetal Fibronectin swab. Then she did an internal exam and found that the stitch was definitely still holding but that I was about a fingertip dilated. She wasn't alarmed at all because she said that most women pregnant with their third child are a fingertip dilated at this point in the pregnancy. She felt optimistic about the way my cervix felt and looked and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. I found out late this evening that the Fetal Fibronectin screen came back negative . . . again. Wow, I feel so blessed. So basically, that is some assurance that I will not go into labor for 2 weeks- which would get me to 34 1/2 weeks. How would've thought? But rest assured, we are still taking it one day at a time. Every day of this pregnancy from this point on is icing on the cake.

This pregnancy is so surreal to me at this point. In a way, I feel disconnected from it because I can't truly believe I am pregnant if I am not suffering through it. With Michael, it was so painful to constantly see him struggle and with Claire, bedrest in the hospital for 73 days was anything BUT a walk in the park. I am still living a very normal life. I've gotten very used to the couch routine and am able to go out to dinner or shopping in the evenings (in a wheelchair of course). But so far, this pregnancy, despite the mental agony and worry- has been so great and I owe it all to the cerclage. The stitches are supposed to dissolve around 36/37 weeks and she thought that they felt strong and weren't dissolving yet (which is good!). She said that next week we would talk about a date to schedule the removal of the cerclage and then warned me that sometimes when they take the stitches out, women don't go into labor because the baby's head sits on the pubic bone. So we will most likely have the cerclage removed at 36 weeks and see what happens. I told her that if she wants to break my water when she takes the cerclage out, she was more than welcome! She laughed and said, "Oh, no. We will send you home so that you can have a good old fashioned labor." It is hard to know that the end is in sight- but not know how soon or how far away that end is! I feel a bit desperate and can't wait to get my body back and meet my baby. She re-emphasized today that she thinks this baby is big and my fundal measurement (size of my uterus) was 34 weeks. So at least the baby is growing well and will hopefully be chubby (a very important baby quality to Claire).

I feel like I have a bit more wind in my sails and in a lot of ways feel that my hope for a healthy baby has been restored. Life is good. The holidays are over. Now we will just wait patiently to meet this new little person who will bless our lives SO much.