Mr. President

In Michael's first grade class, they were asked to write a paragraph in class about what they would do if they were president. Michael hadn't told me that they had written this but I am used to it because finding out what happened in class from Michael is as easy as pulling teeth! When I looked in his folder and read what he would do as president, I was really touched.

It reads:
"If I were president, I would take care of my country. I would help my country by giving them food. It would be fresh fruit. I would help sick people. I would give them medicine. I would give my country more protection. I would send army people. I think I would be a good president."

Being a parent is an interesting balance of trying to teach your children the right things to do in life coupled with the reality of dealing with the decisions they make when you are not around. I have no control over what Michael does at school but I sincerely hope (as most parents do) that he will live and choose his path according to what we have worked so hard to teach him. I really liked what he wrote. First graders are still working hard to understand so many complex concepts in the world that you never know what they are going to say! I liked that Michael's paragraph showed sensitivity to the people and world around him. I especially like the part about 'fresh fruit'. I love that they did this assignment and it is definitely a keeper. He will get a real kick out of it one day!

"P You"

Matthew has been cracking us up lately! My Mom always talked about how her third child (Gina) was so funny and understood adult humor because she was around it so much. Well, the same seems to be true with Matthew. He gets most jokes, knows when to laugh during movies or conversations, and even has a sense of humor that is distinctly this own. I always mean to write down things that he does that make me laugh but I usually forget. So sad! Well one thing that has been funny is this game he started playing with Damien.

It started with Damien smelling Matthew's feet and saying, "P U"! Damien and the rest of us played this game for several weeks until Matthew figured out a way to get us back! When Damien said, "P U", Matthew would say, "P Dad"! At first we thought it was just cute until we realized what he was saying. He interpreted "P U" as "P You". So instead of being the target of the joke, he made Damien it by saying "P Dad". It was so funny. Before long, he would run in the kitchen and say, "P Mom" or tell Michael "P Minah". He has played this joke with most everyone that comes over to visit or stay with us.

He is also not bashful when it comes to showing off/performing. Funny enough, in public- he is a little bashful (like all my kids have been). He is always hesitant in a social situation until he feels comfortable. Well, the other night we had our neighbors over for dinner and he told us he was done eating. Once we let him out of his highchair, he slipped away to the back of the house and came out with a pirate costume on. He then proceeded to have a sword fight with himself and never acknowledged us as we laughed. He just went back to his room and came back wearing a completely different costume. He did this little skit for about ten minutes- never needing help! This was all unprompted and we were just cracking up! The funny part about all of this is that he knows he is funny. We don't have to tell him- hence the fact that he dead pans around us when he is being funny. It is a gross understatement to say that our family is totally enjoying Matthew. He keeps us laughing all day and sometimes- laughter is the best medicine to a busy hectic day!

TV Wars

It's incredible how quickly things can change in the house. We can have a few harmonious days, and then with the flip of a switch- the kids can have a really hard time getting along. Because Michael and Claire are so close in age, they have generally liked a lot of the same things despite their difference in gender. Matthew, well he is kind of in a world of his own where no one threatens his toys- he instead can bug the older two at times by wanting to play with their things. One major thing that has happened lately is a discrepancy in television shows. I try not to let the kids watch too much TV, but there are definitely times during the day when I need a little help from the 'electronic babysitter'.

One TV time that helps me out quite a bit is in the morning before Michael and Claire go to school. For months, the two of them dragged on in the morning and it was hard to get them out of here on time. Then one day, I told them if they hurry and get dressed, brush their teeth, and get their hair done- they could watch TV if there was any time left. Presto! They are different kids now that I have given them a little reward if they hustle! Life was great and my little plan was working perfectly until they both decided that they didn't want to watch each other's show. Claire doesn't want to watch a 'boy show' and Michael feels the same about 'girl shows'. Now I have to assign a morning to one of them and then flip flop mornings so that it is fair. So my plan was working perfectly until Matthew decided that neither the 'boy show' or the 'girl show' were good enough for him. He really doesn't watch a lot of television but if he does- he wants to watch Sesame Street (in particular Elmo's World) or Curious George. Now in the mornings if he notices his show isn't on- he will yell 'Monkey' or 'Melmo'!

I totally respect people that don't have a TV in their house. More power to you! That is just not the route for me and I don't really see anything wrong with the kids watching a show from time to time (as long as the content is monitored by me). Before, a television show provided me a brief relief but these days, it seems more like a headache. I just think it is funny how one day I can have it all figured out, and the next- I don't know where my routine went! As all the kids get older, their age and gender will play a bigger role in their differences. I don't blame Michael for not wanting to kick back and watch My Little Ponies and I certainly sympathize with Claire and her dislike of Transformers. I also don't blame Michael and Claire for getting bored with Elmo. I must say, however, that both the older kids are really good at adapting to the other's likes when they have to. For instance, Claire can get into Star Wars whereas I can't stand to watch a minute of it. And if Claire is watching Barbie and the Island Princesses, Michael can suck it up and get into it too. I guess I should just brace for the future and find a way to sort our their differences or just let them deal with it themselves! When I think back to my childhood, I am pretty sure I bullied my younger sisters into watching what I wanted to watch. It just must be the way it goes! So basically, I am left with few options to solve the television debacle. I could threaten to take away the television- but come on. If I didn't have my dose of reality TV from time to time, I would not be happy. Moms need TV, too!

From the Mouth of Michael

I am so happy that I might have a brother or a sister. It is really cool having a brother and a sister. Think about it. Would you like that? Well I certainly would! The mouth of Michael rocks! I can feel the baby kicking. I am watching a movie right now. If you are someone I know- you are lucky! School is good. I am not feeling really good today. We learned to subtract, minus, and plus and times. I love school. I'll write again sometime. Bye! Have a great day.

Michael wanted to publish a blog (his exact words) so I let him just say what he wanted, I typed it and then published it. He is too much!

Boy vs. Girl Baby

I admit- it is not the easiest thing to not know the sex of your baby. I am constantly day dreaming about having a boy and then switch gears and think of having a baby girl. And while it is all good and I know in time I will know who is in my tummy- part of me would love to know who is going to join our family! Either way, if it is a boy or girl- he/she will most definitely have a great effect on all of us. There are positives about having either sex and it mostly has to do with our kids.

If it is a girl, Claire would be so happy! She is really hoping that the baby is a girl because she wants to have a sister. She made this clear the minute we told her we were pregnant. I can't blame her because all I have is sisters and she is so aware of this. I know that Claire loves having brothers, but she would love a sister and I would love to see her get one. Michael has also said he would love to have a girl baby because he doesn't remember Claire when she was a baby. Also a very valid point! If we had a girl, we would be an evenly split family of three boys and three girls. Equality for all!

If it is a boy, we would all be thrilled. I know initially Claire would be a tiny bit disappointed but she would snap out of it and love the heck out of a sweet baby boy. She is so maternal and I know she would love to hold and help her new brother. Michael has said he wants a boy but usually he says this just as Claire has said she wants a girl. Basically, he has been rubbing it in that it could be four boys vs. two girls. Oh, the drama. I think it would be great if I had a boy because Matthew would have a little playmate. Not that he wouldn't play with a sister, but it would be kinda cute.

If comes down to this. We all want a healthy baby and no matter if it is a boy or a girl, a brother or a sister- we will all be so happy. I don't feel a boy or girl vibe. I feel the same as I always do with each and every pregnancy. My guessing percentage is terrible anyway at 33%. I guessed correctly that Michael was a boy. I thought Claire was a boy- wrong! I thought Matthew was a girl- wrong! So I really don't have a strong feeling about the sex of the baby. The only thing that is kind of distinctive is I have a really strong gag reflex this time like I did with Claire's pregnancy. I remember when I was pregnant with her- all I needed to do was put the toothbrush a little too far back in my mouth and I would throw up! Well, this pregnancy I have had the same thing and have had several barfing episodes while trying to brush my teeth. But that is it! Everything else seems pretty par for the course and very much the same with my previous pregnancies. I really can't wait for my amazing birth moment when I find out who has been the little baby kicking around my belly. Is it a boy or a girl? We will find out in June!

The BIG Ultrasound

Well, I turned 21 weeks today but more importantly- I had my big ultrasound. I was really looking forward to this ultrasound because it is just one more way to get a real deep glimpse into the well being of my baby. Even though I have had an ultrasound every other week, I couldn't believe how big this baby has gotten. It is just amazing. We got great news that the baby looks really healthy. Everything looked good but unfortunately, we couldn't see the face or the profile of the baby. In fact, this is the best picture we could get because the baby was head down and had wrapped it's body around the placenta. My doctor said that babies sometimes like to do this because it is like a big pillow to them. The baby sure did look comfortable! Starting next Tuesday, I will have weekly ultrasounds until the birth of this baby so we will just look next week at it's face to make sure everything looks normal.

We didn't find out the sex and aren't going to. I must admit that I was more tempted this time to look but I didn't. Just a few more months and we'll find out who he or she is! The baby looked really healthy in the ultrasound and weighs one pound. It is measuring a few days bigger than my gestation and looked as happy as could be in there. More good news is that my cervix stayed the same length as it has over the past month. I am really happy about this but cautiously happy because I know that one of these weeks, we will have a substantial change in cervical length.

All in all, it was a great appointment and I am more anxious than ever to see who this little baby is!

Ali & Brad's Birthday!

There are a lot of birthdays in both Damien and my family. Between parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, nieces, and nephews- I am constantly thinking of gifts for people and putting parties on my calendar in advance to make sure we can make as many as we can. Neither of our families has converted to the 'Monthly Birthday Celebration' where you celebrate once a month the people's birthday that happened in that month. I imagine at some point, that is going to have to happen as the families continue to grow with new wives, husbands and grandkids. At some point, we won't have a choice in the matter.

We were all fortunate enough to find a date where we could all get together for Damien's sister and brother in law's birthday. They actually share the same birthday and Lani graciously offered to host it for them. My kids were really looking forward to getting together with their cousins and we can't believe how many grandkids there are now. Ten and counting! We started the night eating pizza together (Ali wanted everything low key which totally worked for us) and then went back to Lani's house for cake, gifts, and some great time spent as a big family.

We ended up driving to Healdsburg afterwards to spend the night at Damien's parents house. It was fun to wake up with everyone the next morning and have a lazy Sunday together. We only stayed until 3:00 p.m. in order to be able to take Damien's sister back down to San Jose to catch her flight. All in all, we had a great weekend and it was nice to see everyone together again. Happy Birthday Ali and Brad!

Date Night

I am careful when talking about Damien on my blog because I don't want to constantly gag people with all the lovey dovey feelings I have for him. He is amazing, he is so fun, he really is my best friend (insert gagging sounds here). I don't know why I don't write more honestly about how much I love him because the truth is- I seriously love him more and more each day I am with him. I feel so lucky that I met him when we were so young and that we were able to start a family and a life with one another. I am so blessed to be married to someone who I can talk to about anything and everything and also spend countless days together without getting tired of him. I am lucky to have married someone who I (if we didn't keep having kids together) would apply for The Amazing Race with and kick some serious butt! I am lucky and so happy to have him and think I need to be less humble about the amazing relationship we have.

The other night- I glanced at the calendar and on Friday, February 20th a small note read, Date Night. Yeah, that's right. Date night. I immediately got excited and really couldn't wait to go out! Before we knew it- Friday was here and I was pumped to know that I didn't have to cook dinner or watch the kids that night. It was all about us! Damien took me to downtown San Jose where we had a delicious dinner at Bella Mia. We hadn't been there in years but it holds a special place in our hearts. When we were first dating in college, I told Damien one night that we should go out to dinner. I then suggested Bella Mia. Damien obliged but immediately began panicking because unbeknownst to me- he didn't have a lot of money at the time. When we went to dinner, I looked for something delicious while Damien searched the menu for the most inexpensive item. He ended up picking cheese ravioli and water which I now know that he loathes (the raviolis, not the water). Sweet guy. He tried to show me a night on the town while wiping sweat off his brow the whole night wondering if he had enough money to cover it! Bella Mia was really really good and we definitely did not order the ravioli this time!

After we ate, I was in a post-eating coma and really didn't pay attention to where Damien was driving. I was enjoying the conversation and relishing in the moment that I wasn't reaching in the backseat to hand Matthew his pluggie or helping Michael and Claire solve a disagreement. Then it dawned on me that there might be a Part B of the date and I realized we were headed to HP Pavillion and so were A LOT of other people. "Are we going to see a concert?" I asked. "Maybe", he said. Just then- I looked up and saw Celine Dion appear on the reader board and I was soooo happy! I absolutely love Celine. I love her music but I also love that she seems so real. Anytime I have seen her on television, she is doing good things for people. I also love that when she performs, you can tell she is totally into what she is singing. We have a condition in our family called 'Ugly McSinging Face'. This rare condition prevents you from looking the least bit attractive when you sing and involves a lot of eye squinting, face contorting, and sometimes tears from feeling the music so deeply. I believe Celine also has this rare condition and I LOVE her for it!

Celine Dion hasn't sung in San Jose for ten years and wouldn't you know I was lucky enough to have gone with Damien back then! Ten years ago we found out that Celine was going to be in San Jose that very same night. Because we were crazy (and childless) we hopped into the car and went downtown to see if we could buy some tickets from scalpers. We asked everyone- and no such luck. We were about to give up when I approached this man and asked if he had tickets. I must have looked desperate because he said to me, 'How bad do you want to see Celine?' I went into a mad speech about how much I love her music and that it would mean so much to me. It turns out- he was one of her managers and told us he would get us in . . . for free! He gave Damien his ticket and had me walk in with him as he showed the people at the ticket door his badge. Once we were all safely in- he told us to find some open seats and enjoy the show! IT WAS AWESOME!!!! When I was dating Damien, I listened to a lot of Celine songs as we fell in love. Sappy- yes. True- yes! Those same songs bring me back to one of the best times in my life.

The concert was just as wonderful as it was last time. She is really so talented and I enjoyed each and every song she sang in her two hour performance with no breaks (just costume changes). I left the concert so incredibly happy that I got to see Celine again, but also so happy that Damien thought enough to plan ahead and make an ordinary night extraordinary.

Brotherly Love

Michael is really growing quickly into a young man. He is more responsible, more mature, and even getting a little lippy! Some of the things that come out of his mouth don't come from us which makes me wonder where he is learning to have such attitude! It isn't anything major and mostly just makes me laugh a little when he walks out of the room- but Michael is certainly coming into his own. He is almost eight years old. He is a confident first grader and is loving the independence that comes with being in grade school. All in all, Michael is just awesome and we are so lucky to have him in our lives. He, as well as Claire, have taken a great interest in my growing tummy. He says goodnight to the baby every night before bed, he hugs the baby before I leave him at school and even offers to help me out so that I don't have to bend over too much or stress myself. He is also really great with Matthew. The two of them are at a good point in their lives together. Matthew loves rough housing with Michael and Michael loves all of the new funny words and actions Matthew learns daily. Of course, Michael does have to torment him a little bit (he is his big brother and that's what big brothers do) but for the most part- they are doing great.

Michael and Claire are also at a great age together. They do fight from time to time but they also have been bonding more lately which is really cute to watch. One thing they love to do together is play their Nintendo DS simultaneously. They sync their games together and can get lost for hours (although I don't let them). They both crack up when they ask Matthew to say funny words or ask him questions like, 'Matthew, do you like to eat garbage?'. Usually they will quiz him at dinnertime and seriously fall off of their chairs laughing!

Michael is doing great. He is a happy little guy who continues to amaze us with his confidence and compassion towards others. I can't wait to see him with a new sibling and he can barely wait, either!

A Sweet Morning

Claire didn't have school today so I was planning on just dropping Michael off at school and coming home. Claire wasn't so sure of my plan and said, "Maybe we could go out to breakfast and just talk about stuff. You know about school, gymnastics, the baby?" I thought it was a great idea and I also thought it would be a great time to bond and catch up! She was up earlier than if she was going to school and dressed in her 'non-uniform'. She was really looking forward breakfast and her enthusiasm spurred me to get excited, too.

We went to this great restaurant named Bill's right in downtown Willow Glen and had a great time. Matthew thought he was really cool because he didn't have to sit in a highchair. He wanted his own menu to read (albeit upside down) and decided he wanted eggs and sausage which are his breakfast favorites. Claire opted for french toast and some yummy hot chocolate while Mommy ordered oatmeal. What was so funny was that when the waiter came to take our order, Matthew looked up at him at just the right time and said, "Eggy please". I didn't prep him to say that and both Claire and I got a good laugh from it. When he brought our food, the waiter handed out everyone's meal and when he gave Matthew his, he said "And here is your eggy!". It was really funny. Just a change in environment made it possible for Claire and I to talk about a lot of things. She is such a special little girl and such a help to me. While I didn't plan on going out to eat that morning, I am so happy Claire suggested it because it was just what we needed!

20 Weeks

Claire is so interested in my pregnancy. She waits almost as eagerly as I do for the day that I change weeks. We had talked about how there were forty weeks in a pregnancy and she was as excited as I was to turn twenty weeks! I don't know what it is that made me so happy this week. Naturally, it felt good to at the official half way point of the pregnancy. There is something about knowing that you have climbed the hill and are now on your way back down that feels good. Well, I am now walking downhill and treading very carefully because I know that one of these weeks, the journey will become more difficult. It will just be my job to keep moving forward despite the way this hill twists and turns.

My next big milestone to hit is 25 weeks. I don't expect a lot of people to identify with the real significance of this week for me. I know a lot of you know about Michael's entrance into the world four months premature, but I don't expect you to know how terrifying it is to know that it just could happen again. While I am hoping and praying for a better result, 25 weeks also represents life to me. It represents to me the chance of survival if born at this gestation. In order for this whole pregnancy to give me something in the end- I have to make it to 25 weeks to have a chance. It is hard to feel this beautiful life in my tummy and worry that something might take that away from me. I am hoping that this cerclage saves me again from any early scares- but just based on my history and what I have been through, I can't just not feel a little scared around this time. I am so happy to be twenty weeks and will cherish each and every week until I get to 25 weeks where I will breathe a small sigh of relief. After that point, each week is a huge blessing to both me and my baby!

On a side note, I have to write a small disclaimer. After my pregnancy with Matthew someone told me that they thought that my blog was depressing and a total downer while I was pregnant. I respect their opinion, although admittedly, I was a tiny bit put off because my blog is a place for me to write about my feelings and find some clarity through all of my struggles as well as enjoy the wonderful moments of my life. No one has walked a day in my shoes and so I wouldn't expect any one person to completely identify with my thoughts and feelings. I choose to write my truth, my real feelings and not sugarcoat things. The blogs I love to read are the blogs where people are real and risk judgement by telling their own truth. When you visit someone's blog, you make a purposeful choice to enter a place where people put themselves out there and share their lives. I don't blame the earlier mentioned reader's opinion about my blog during pregnancy. I just hope you understand that when you visit my blog, you are getting a real dose of my feelings, hopes, and fears. What you see, is what you get and I hope you continue the journey with me.

Little Gymnast

Our family took the winter off from extracurricular activities. After a long season of fall soccer and taking into consideration the fact that I would be trying to get through my first trimester of this pregnancy, we decided a quiet winter at home would be great. So far, we have enjoyed sleeping in on Saturdays (as opposed to getting up for games) and just enjoying the freedom of a whole weekend to do what we want! After all, my kids are still really young and I don't think they need to be over scheduled at this point. I know the crazy scheduling will be here in a few years so why not enjoy some sanity now???

We signed Michael up to play spring baseball and he has been so excited. I asked Claire if she wanted to play softball and she was not interested. She instead thought she might want to do tap, ballet, or gymnastics. After some thought, she decided to do gymnastics and is absolutely loving it!!! We took a trial class at a great gym a few miles from our house and I was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't 'let's sing some songs while holding a parachute' (although I think that is great for little kiddos). This was a full on gym where Claire is pushed to the max! It is so fun to watch her try and manipulate her body on the different apparatuses. Claire is super tall and I swear her limbs lengthen by an inch every couple of weeks (I am exaggerating but you know what I mean). She goes in and out of these growth spurts and I can totally tell when she is in one. She tends to be less coordinated and I swear- sometimes at dinner she will be sitting in her chair eating and somehow fall off the chair onto the floor. Gymnastics is helping her so much on being aware of her body and her limbs and learning how to use her core strength to be successful at an activity.

She is loving the bars and the balance beam and smiles so big when she is on the trampoline. Enrolling Claire in gymnastics was on my giant list of things-to-do and I am so happy I followed through and got her started. She goes to class once a week for an hour and when she is done- she is so satisfied with herself- not to mention exhausted. I feel great watching her because she looks so happy out there. Claire got to pick out a new leotard and you can tell she feels really cool in it. Claire is just so happy and it makes me feel so good. I do laugh quietly a bit when I look out on the floor and see these little petite girls next to Claire who is just so tall for her age. She is hanging in there and having the time of her life.

My Busy Valentine

I am bummed right now. As I am catching up on blogging, I realize that somehow- my Valentine pictures of the kids got deleted. I want to blame someone else but I am sure I did it. The crazy thing is that I don't remember doing it! I will just blame it on my fuzzy pregnant brain. They were so adorable dressed up in their pink and red and actually looked really cute in the pictures. Would you know that the only picture I have from Valentine's Day was of me and Damien? I guess it is fitting since our kids wouldn't even be celebrating Valentine's Day if it weren't for us! We had a long and busy Valentine's Day. This picture was taken just before I got up and started getting ready for the marathon day ahead of us.

On Saturday morning, a great group of my former basketball teammates from Santa Clara University and I got together at Hobee's restaurant. It was the perfect place to see one another as we spent many a weekend morning in college eating way too much food and blueberry coffee cake together. A few weeks before the breakfast, one of my friends let me know that it was going to be a baby shower for my friend Linda and me. What? I told her it was silly as I am expecting my fourth baby (which generally doesn't warrant a shower). But she insisted and I gladly showed up for the shower/breakfast feeling both blessed and honored. We had the best time! I wish so much that these wonderful women lived closer to me. However, the nature of a coach recruiting a basketball team is that they recruit talent from all different states and areas. I miss all of them so much and will never forget how our basketball experiences during those four years bonded us forever.

After the shower, we headed to Santa Clara University for the SCU Women's Basketball Alumni Day Event. I was excited to attend this year because there were a lot of people that were going to attend this year that didn't attend in the past few years. We all got to catch up on each other's lives and just enjoy great conversation and some great laughs as we watched the SCU Women take on Loyola Marymount. At halftime, the kids and I walked out to center court with the other alums to be honored for our years dedicated to SCU Women's Basketball. The kids think it is so cool to be out on the court and to be able to wave at the crowd. It makes me very proud to be able to give them this thrill and share a little of my past with them. At halftime, Melissa King- who was a point guard at SCU before my time was the first women to get her jersey honored and raised to the rafters. It was really cool to see her get this honor because she genuinely deserves it. It was a fabulous day!

Valentine's evening, Damien and I got a babysitter to watch the kids so we could go out and enjoy a delicious dinner together. We really had a nice night and it was a great chance to reflect on the love we share together and to see what it has created. We have three beautiful children and another on the way. I seriously can say that I love Damien as much as I did the day I met him. We have worked very hard to make our relationship the best it can be and value each other as both as a spouse and a friend. I am so thankful this year for all the love in my life. I am surrounded by loving family and friends who make my life so blessed and exceptional. I truly am a lucky woman.

Grandparent's Day

There are a lot of really neat days that the kids' school celebrates. One of them is Grandparent's Day. Last year, they didn't include Kindergarten in the celebration so this was our first year to have the wonderful grandparents of my kids honored. The celebration was the morning of Matthew's birthday so the day was already jam packed full of activities. The parents were not invited to this special day, instead, the grandparents were to facilitate getting the kids to their classrooms and then meet them in the church for a special prayer service.

All the grandparents said that the prayer service was really special. They didn't sit with the kids but were able to see them file into the church with their classes and then watch them during the mass. Afterwards, Mark, Marlene, and my Mom Linda got to visit Michael and Claire in their classrooms and see what a day is like for them. It was a special glimpse into the world of their grandchildren and I know that they appreciated it to the fullest. If I think back to my elementary days, I would have loved to have had my grandparents at school. When we picked up the kids and grandparents that afternoon, neither could say enough about how special the whole experience was for them. I am thankful to have such amazing grandparents in my children's lives. Both Damien and my parents are worthy of a day to celebrate their role as a grandparent.

19 Weeks

I had an ultrasound appointment today for my 19 week check up. While I felt good, the irrational side of me worried (as usual) that there was going to be a big change in my cervical length that would turn my life upside down. However, my more rational thoughts prevailed and things are looking good. My cervix stayed the same length as two weeks ago at 3.95 cm and I won't have to go in for another ultrasound until 21 weeks. After 21 weeks, it will be every week that I get an ultrasound as we will be on 'Bedrest Watch 2009'.

I feel great. Seriously- great. I realized today that so far- this is my only semi-predictable pregnancy. (Don't worry, I have been through too much to completely let down my guard.) With Michael's pregnancy, things went horribly wrong. It was nowhere near what I had expected. With Claire's pregnancy they told me that most likely I would carry full-term and that Michael's early birth was a fluke. Hmmm. Yeah. Wasn't expecting all the drama with Claire's pregnancy either. With Matthew's pregnancy, I was hopeful that things would be better but we'd have to see how my body responded to the cerclage. In the end- the cerclage was a life saver and allowed me to stay out of the hospital until Matthew was born. So here I am with pregnancy #4 and I actually have a fairly decent shot of repeating a previous pregnancy! Go figure! I am still guarded and fairly prepared if something does go wrong. I have had that 'Oh No!' moment too many times to just think it might not happen again. Basically, I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy. I am relishing the quiet moments with this happy, healthy baby kicking away in my tummy and trying my hardest to enjoy these precious moments. We'll have to wait and see what the future holds for this little baby. But in the meantime, I am going to continue to do my best to protect this precious life and do all I can to keep the baby safe.

Crafty Claire

Claire has been hilarious these days. For years, I have called her 'Little Mommy' because she is so on top of everything in the house and with Matthew. When our parents are here and can't find something in the kitchen like a strainer, they ask Claire because somehow she just knows where everything is. The other day, Damien brought the kids to school and she kept him on task and told him when they needed to be done with breakfast, teeth brushing, etc. in order to be on time. She even wanted to write the morning timeline down and keep it in her bedroom for future reference. She is just really in tune with the flow of the house and I love it! In terms of organization and just being aware- I don't know what I would do without Claire.

That being said, I think she is feeling a little confused about her 'duties'. Lately, she has been a hall monitor of sorts and it is absolutely cracking is up! When Damien was in Barbados, she spent a lot of time with my Mom. One afternoon, she was doing a Valentine's Day project with her when my Mom opened a diet root beer. My Mom decided after a half an hour that she was done with the half drunk root beer so she poured the rest into the sink. Apparently, Claire was really surprised by this. Maybe she thought Nonna was bring wasteful or something because she very slyly brought me this note as I was laying down in the family room. She said, 'Did you read it? I just wanted to you to know.' I bit my cheeks so I wouldn't laugh and nodded that I had it under control. Of course I quickly got up and showed the note to my Mom who laughed so hard. What a crack up!

Another funny Claire story happened a few days later. Matthew and Claire pal around a lot. Basically, Claire is home most of the day when Michael is in school so he has taken a liking to hanging out with her (Matthew loves Michael, too). They wrestle, he loves to play with her toys, they just have a good time together. Well, the other day, Matthew messed up a huge project Claire was doing in her room with her Littlest Pet Shop figures. She was mad but instead of lashing out at Matthew, she went to the kitchen and wrote the word, Dude, on a post it note and taped it to the back of his hair. I didn't want to support her action, but it was so funny and because Matthew didn't notice it- I didn't say a word. He must have worn that note for a good hour and soon Damien and Michael were in on the hoax, too. The funny thing to me was the choice of her 'cutting' word. Dude? Is that a bad thing? I love it! At least she didn't pick a word that was offensive! Claire was proud of her revenge and loved seeing him walk around with the paper in his hair. In the end, it was pretty darn funny and we've officially hit a new level of outsmarting someone in this house. If you come over to visit, you better watch your back!

Barbados Boy

A little over a year ago, Damien and I went on a fabulous trip to Costa Rica. I can't tell you how often I think back to that trip and how absolutely glorious it was. In fact, as Matthew is tugging on my leg and just spilled my glass of water (seriously) I am sincerely wishing I was back with my husband on the beach bathing in the sun. Oh, memories! Well this year, Damien again qualified for his company's Club Trip to this year's location- Barbados. I am so proud of him and certainly think he earned the trip. I knew that if he did qualify for the trip, I wouldn't go. I have already traveled abroad pregnant once and look how that turned out! Once he got word that he had made the trip, he told me he wasn't going to go. What??? I was seriously appalled! He said he didn't want to go because I couldn't go. While I appreciated the sentiment, I thought that was nonsense! Let's put it this way. If I won a all expense paid trip to an exotic location and he couldn't go, I hope that Damien would want me to go with a friend or family member. I pushed him, supported him and told him that he had to go and that it would be an absolute blast! Thankfully, he came around and got excited for the trip!

His company pays for he and a guest to attend this trip and because I couldn't go- he chose to go with this really great friend Keith. I thought it was a great choice as I knew they would have an absolute blast together! The timing of it was crazy. They had to fly out on the eve of Matthew's birthday which made for one hectic night. Thankfully, they landed safely in Barbados the next day and started their five-day tropical vacation! They had a great itinerary of events to keep them busy. It started with a beach side welcome dinner, followed the next day with a catamaran cruise out in the ocean (complete with massages). Rough life! They also swam with turtles, snorkled, body surfed, boogie boarded, played 18 holes of golf on a gorgeous course, and watched the Superbowl on a movie sized theater screen on the beach. Yes, they had their toes in the sand as they watched the big game! If you're a guy- it really doesn't get much better than that! Well, maybe you would want your wife with you- but you catch my drift!

While he did call home a few times a day, I was happy that he took the time out for himself to relax and enjoy a few days without stress. When he did call, he sounded really happy and that in itself made me happy. I think that sometimes you need to have experiences away from your spouse and kids to just be with your buddies or have some time alone. This last June he supported me 100% to join my Mom and sisters in Vegas and I know I had the time of my life. I think supporting and trusting each other is so important. If I has the choice- I would want to do most everything with Damien. But from time to time, I do like to be with my sisters/Mom.

After five fun-filled days, Damien returned home safely and all of us were so happy to see him. My Mom was with me for the majority of the time he was gone so I had someone to keep me company and give me a hand. It was a win-win situation for our family and I am so happy Damien had the chance to see the another part of he world. Now welcome back to reality, Damien. It missed you!

Matthew's 2nd Chut Chut Cheese Birthday!

Today is an amazing day! Two years ago today, I met my sweet little Matthew for the first time. I will never forget how I was immediately bonded with him and how deeply in love I was from the minute they laid him on my chest. We waited patiently for him and had some tough times and boy was he worth it! I can't believe it has been a whole two years since that wonderful day.

Our agenda today was absolutely insane. It started off with bringing the kids to school and then quickly turning around to pick my Mom up at the airport. She flew in to be here for Matthew's birthday but also to celebrate Grandparent's Day at the kids school. After we got my Mom and brought her back to the house, I headed to my doctor's appointment. Damien then waited at the house for his parent's to arrive and then drove everyone to the school. When I got back from my appointment, it was just Damien, Matthew and I at home. We spoiled him and sang and danced for his birthday! After that, we went to the school, picked up the grandparents and then went out to lunch. Phew! (And it was only noon!)

For a large part of the afternoon, we all just relaxed and enjoyed our little Matthew. All day long, all he could talk about was Chuck E. Cheese. Because I am on limited activity, I knew I would need to have his party outside the house or I would over-do it. I asked Matthew where he wanted his birthday and without hesitating he answered, chut chut cheese! So the plan was set and Matthew would have his birthday with the Chuckster. If given the chance, Matthew told everyone where he was going to have his birthday. He told them he was going to eat pizza. He told everyone that he was going to get blue cotton candy and root beer. He even told everyone he was going to be two (although he would hold up all five fingers when he said it). This kiddo was more than ready for his birthday and he couldn't believe the day was finally here!

Once he woke up from his afternoon nap, he was ready to open some presents! We decided that we would all give him his presents early because he would be so overwhelmed at his party. He was so excited to open his presents and everyone that gave him gifts gave him such personal, perfect little gifts. Matthew is into a lot of fun little things these days. The biggest thing is Elmo, followed by Sponge Bob, and he also loves all things Disney and shoes. Kind of an eclectic mix but it is what he likes! Daddy and Mommy gave him a mini rolling Elmo suitcase and Elmo slippers and he went berserk!

The party at Chuck E. Cheese was awesome! We had a lot of family and great friends join us for the chaos. The great part of having a party there is that they do everything for you. No set-up, clean-up, cooking, etc. But hard part is that for ninety minutes, you experience 100% craziness- but the kids LOVE it. First the kids are playing the games, then they come and eat pizza, then you eat cake, then Chuck E. comes, then you open gifts, then it is over. We had an absolute blast and Matthew really had a great time. There were few more kids that were Matthew's size at the party but they were a little too afraid of 'The Mouse' to pose for this picture. I was surprised at first that Matthew was a little bit nervous around Chuck E. Cheese. That changed pretty quickly and by the end- he was his best friend.

I had to include this picture because it is so sweet. It took Matthew a little bit to get used to Chuck E. Cheese (the mouse) but he was so sad after he had to go away. He had just blown out the candles on his cake with Chuck E. and the next thing he knows- his new best friend is leaving. It took a few minutes for him to calm down, but he eventually got control. Did I mention he was getting tired?

We loaded the car and got home thankfully in one piece! To add to the hysteria of the evening, Damien had to catch a plane to Barbados (more on that later). He had an 11:25 p.m. flight from San Francisco Airport and needed to leave the house at 9:00 p.m. to make it there on time. My Mom was going to stay with me while he was gone for the five day trip so I was looking forward to that. We got the kids dressed for bed and all three asleep just as Damien left. It was a crazy day but a special day as our little baby turned a BIG two years old!

17.5 Weeks

We had our ultrasound appointment today and it was amazing to see how much this little baby has grown. There is something so amazing, so miraculous about going into the doctor at four weeks, seeing what looks like a bean, only to see in a few short weeks- a heartbeat! Then to go in a few weeks later to see legs and arms sprouting. Each and everytime I get an ultrasound I am just amazed at what my body is doing to grow this sweet little baby in my belly. While I love going in to see how the baby is doing, I am at these ultrasounds to get my cervix measured. Only a few more weeks and I will be going in for an ultrasound every week until this baby is born!

My ultrasound appointments are very much the same every time. First, my doctor does an internal exam to actually go up there and feel the length of the cervix and to make sure the cerclage (stitches) are still holding. She does this so she has some kind of idea how things are going before she does the ultrasound. Then she does a trans-abdominal (on my tummy) ultrasound where she first ultrasounds the cervical area and gets a good estimate at it's length. Basically, we are on a holding pattern until my cervix shortens to 2.5 cm which means I would be placed immediately on modified bedrest (3 hrs. in the morning / 3 hrs. in the afternoon). For clarification purposes, the measurement of 2.5 cm is not how the cervix is dilated. It is the length of the cervix from top to bottom that she measures. A typical pregnant woman's cervix measures somewhere between 5.5 cm - 4.5 cm in length at this point in a pregnancy. Two weeks ago, mine measured at 4.3 cm and this week, my cervix measured anywhere from 3.9 - 4.1 cm. So basically, as expected- my cervix is already beginning to shorten and will continue to do so for the remainder of the pregnancy. Another change that was present was that the bottom of the uterus was starting to 'nipple'. Basically, throughout my pregnancy- the weight of the growing baby will put pressure on the cervix and open it from the top down until the baby is eventually sitting on the cerclage. Right now, that has started hence the 'nippling'. If you can't picture what I am talking about, think about the uterus as a nice round oval. At the bottome of the uterus where it meets the cervix, it looks like a tiny bottle nipple. It is starting to work it's way down to the stitch which only sits 2.5 cm below. Okay, so a lot of technical talk here! But never fear, we knew all of this would happen and knew what we were getting into when we decided to get pregnant again! All of this happened in Matthew's pregnancy and we just hope that we are as blessed in this pregnancy to make it to 36 weeks again.

All in all, the appointment was great. My doctor was very pleased with how things looked- considering my issues and was encouraged. I think that it would be hard for a lot of people to get news that things are changing in a negative direction, but after all Damien and I have been through with my pregnancies- this is just par for the course. We wanted a big family and by the grace of God, we have been blessed with three healthy children thus far. I am enjoying this pregnancy. I love feeling the baby kick and punch around in my tummy. Even Damien has been able to feel the baby already. The only difference between this pregnancy and my previous pregnancies is that I am really getting the feeling like I could be happy if this was the last time I do this. It is a great feeling. A feeling of closure, a feeling of peace and I needed that! So instead of freaking out at the coming changes in my pregnancy (which of course I will freak out a little bit), I am really trying to focus on enjoying each and every stage because this will most definitely be my last time. Seeing the baby this week was awesome. It was the first profile of the baby I have seen and it made me excited to meet this new little life! Now, if only we knew if it was a boy or a girl? Only a few short months and we'll know the answer to that!

Claire's Self Portrait

We have a great 'Art Enrichment' program at the kids school. From time to time, I get these great pieces of art home that are refreshing and so interesting. The latest and greatest was a self portrait done by Claire. Claire has always loved to draw and write independantly. She makes the cutest pictures for us but they don't normally include the detail she used for her self portrait. Apparently in their class, they studied two different self portraits that other artists created and then they were told to try and create their own! I noticed a few new things on this art piece that I have never seen Claire draw before. For starters, she really took care to put detail into her eyes. Normally she just draws green circles and calls it a day. But this time she worked on shape and included pupils! The next change was her mouth. They must have talked about including teeth because I have never seen her draw teeth in her pictures before. The whole project was so cute! Daddy actually did her hair that day and he left it down with a silver headband. I love this picture and want to make sure I hold onto this one for a while. I think it is pretty cool to see how Claire 'sees' herself. I remember last year when Michael did this project. He drew tons of freckles all over this face. I wasn't sure if he even noticed he had so many freckles but apparently he did. I am glad that there is this great opportunity for the kids to be artistic at school and I can hardly wait to see what they bring home next!