30 Weeks!

I am having a hard time containing my excitement this morning. I can't believe it! 30 weeks. Mentally, this is huge for me. In order to get through this pregnancy, I have continually set some mental goals. My first goal was to get to 25 weeks, then 28 weeks, then 30 weeks, and then 32 weeks. Most of these goals were based on the baby's well being. For instance at 25 weeks, the baby could live outside the womb. At 28 weeks, the risk of brain damage decreases if born. 30 weeks is more mental for me- finally turning the corner toward the finish line . . . birth. And finally, at 32 weeks, there are many studies which show that babies born at this gestation tend to not have any developmental delays. At 35 weeks, you can have your baby and take him/her home so that would be huge! So there you have it, a clear picture of how my brain works.

I try not to compare this pregnancy to my past pregnancies, but it is really hard not to do. Last night as I sat on the couch with Damien, we pondered the thought that I was almost 30 weeks, still at home, and only on modified bedrest. The whole scenario seems so bizarre to us. Thank you cerclage! This pregnancy has gone so well and has been manageable. The kids are doing great and really aren't affected at all by my bedrest. I hate to brag, but they are really such great kids. They are so in tune with my pregnancy and sense that I have to be really careful. If something drops on the floor, they will tell me not to bend over and run over and pick it up for me. They keep an eye on my water cup and if it looks low or is empty, they will ask if they could fill it up. They pray for the baby and for mommy every night at prayer and are so excited about the baby being born.

In the beginning of the pregnancy, my heart was constantly heavy with the thought that if something went terribly wrong with the pregnancy, the kids would be crushed. We told them about the pregnancy at 14 weeks and until I was 25 weeks, a lot of my pregnancy stress was because I didn't want to have to give them bad news. So now, to be 30 weeks, I am so happy to be in a good place and join the kids in their excitement to meet little Emily or Matthew. Their sweet innocent questions, talking to the baby through my tummy, and overall excitement to meet their new sibling has filled my heart with such happiness and peace. Soon this baby will be born into a family who is ready and waiting with open arms, to love and nurture him/her.

I am still very hopeful that I will be able to carry this pregnancy into 2007. The bigger and healthier the baby, the better it will be. I go into the doctor this Tuesday and will find out more about how things are really going in there! Maybe I will be put on full bedrest, maybe I won't. I will do whatever it takes to keep this pregnancy going, even it that means being hospitalized or spending all day on the couch or bed. When this is all over, and I hold that beautiful baby in my arms, I want to know that I did everything I could to give him/her the greatest chance to be a healthy, chubby baby.