Why I Love To Cook

My childhood is full of many vibrant and wonderful memories and strangely enough- a lot of them have to do with smell. I come from a big Italian family and as you can imagine there was always something cooking in the kitchen. I will never forget the smell of sauteed peppers, onions, and garlic that would knock me over as I entered my Nana's house as a child. Or the smell of spaghetti and meatballs at my Grandma's house that would have me looking forward to dinner from the minute I walked in! So many times when I was a child- I remember waking up from a nap at home and being overwhelmed by the delicious aroma of dinner that my Mom was cooking. There was always life in the kitchen in our family. I grew up watching phenomenal women cook for their families and seeing people so happy after sharing a delicious meal together. Without trying too hard, my great grandma, my grandmas, and my Mom passed on the love of food and cooking to me and I love cooking for my family and friends.

Claire likes to help me out in the kitchen, but these days- I am not in there too much because of the pregnancy. I planned ahead and froze a lot of meals but I haven't had the chance in the last few months to get in there and make a feast! Lucky for me- my Mom was here for a week and spoiled us with her delicious cooking. The thing I love about my Mom is that she has gotten my kids interested in cooking and introduced them to a lot of fantastic foods. She and Claire got together one night and made Pasta Bolognese. They even made homemade pasta (cavatelle) together and Claire was so proud of herself! She couldn't believe that she could do what Nonna did and surely picked up some confidence that I hope will translate into Claire being confident in her own kitchen one day.

I find it amazing that some people just 'like' food. I don't just 'like' food- I 'love' food. I care how it's cooked, I care how it looks, I love how it tastes. Basically- food and I are very good friends and I owe a lot of that to my Mom and my Grandmas. Sure- I have to spend more time on the treadmill to counter my love for most all food, but it is a relationship that I wouldn't give up for anything. Mangia!!!

27 weeks

So here's the latest and greatest. We had a bit of a change this week as my cervical length shunk an entire centimeter in just one week. Last week I was 4.1 cm and this week I was 3.1 cm. I had a hunch that things would kind of go this way but I was also holding out hope that maybe I would be able to carry this baby longer before having to go on bedrest. This doesn't mean that this next Tuesday I will shorten to 2.5 cm but I am definitely preparing for it. If on Tuesday I am told that I need to go on bedrest- the timing would be the exact as with Matthew's pregnancy. But we will see! You never know and I would love to be surprised with another week of mobility.

The great news is that the baby looked fantastic and let us see it's face again. He/she is still head down and I hope it stays that way just for peace of mind. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that I passed the three hour glucose screen which was a HUGE relief. I didn't need to deal with that, too! My next appointment is Tuesday and I will be taking the FFN test again to see if labor is on the way within the next two weeks. I am hoping to bring the two older kids next week because they are on spring break and they haven't had the chance to see the baby on ultrasound yet. We'll see! So plain and simply, things are still good and at this point in the pregnancy- every day makes a huge difference so I am just trying to push ahead one day at a time.

My Helpers

I was lucky enough to have my sister Natalie (my youngest sister who is 11 1/2 yrs younger than me) down to visit during her Spring Break from college. She was an amazing help and I really needed her here more than I knew. Not only did we have great quality time together (think Real Housewives of New York and Baskin Robbins) but she also got my life in order. On day two, she walked into Claire's room and started emptying her dresser telling me that my organization was out of control. She's right there! We gutted Claire's room and then went into the boy's room and did the same. 11 bags to Goodwill later- I felt cleansed and couldn't have done it without her! She spent every moment of free time soaking up the gorgeous sunshine and even got my pale pregnant body outside to get some color, too! My house was spotless, she kept Matthew entertained outside so I could rest, and she gave me the time I needed to rest and just relax. Plus she got to spent some great quality time with all three of my kids and I know that she and the kids loved that! I miss her already but am so happy I was able to spend such great time with her and have her all to myself!

Just two days after Natalie left- my Mom flew into town to give me the same kind of help. I am trying to take it easy so that I can get through these important weeks of the pregnancy so having Natalie and then my Mom here let me focus on resting instead of trying to keep up with my kids crazy schedules!!! From the moment my Mom flew into town my kids were on cloud nine! She did art/craft projects with Clairey (they have their own business called Rainbow Jewels), she appeased Matthew with most every request he had and she couldn't believe how much he was talking and how he was organizing the whole family. Matthew is crazy like that! Always on top of everything! She was able to celebrate Michael's birthday early with him and bring down his birthday gifts from Nonna, Grandpa, and his aunties and got to see Michael do karate and then play a baseball game. She made me meals to freeze that I can access once I am on full bedrest and was just an amazing help to all of us. She got to see Baby Choo Choo on the ultrasound at my doctors appointment and that alone made her the happiest Nonna in the world.

She filled in for my 'normal jobs' when it came to bathing the kids, making dinners, cooking, breaking up fights, solving the kids arguments, and giving the kids extra attention as I have had to lay down and keep more of a lower profile these days. My Mom is amazing and it is no wonder she was able to raise five kids on her own. She is truly an inspiration to me and makes me think that at the end of this pregnancy- I just might be able to handle all four of my kids. Thanks Nat and Mom for coming down to help me out. I appreciate it more than you know!!!

26 Weeks

Yeah, yeah, yeah! We got a good report again and I am just beyond thrilled. My Mom, Damien, and Matthew were with me and it was a great appointment all around. After many weeks of admiring the baby's spine (that is all that the baby would show us)- we finally got to see the face and the baby put on a show! Baby Choo Choo flipped head down this week and let us see his/her face and those cute chubby cheeks! The baby was really moving around today and my Mom was so touched and amazed to see her little grandchild in action. My cervix measured 4.1 cm this week which is fantastic and the cerclage is still holding. These days, that it all we are hoping for. Something that was new this week was the Fetal Fibronectin test. This test is a predictor for premature labor within two weeks and I am thrilled to report that my results were negative. The test is repeated every two weeks until I am about 35 weeks. I took these tests with Matthew and got a negative every time and I can only hope for the same this time around. I will go back in on Thursday to take the three hour glucose test and hope to get good results from that too.

I am so happy to be in such good shape and am truly enjoying the journey with this little baby. It was even more special to have my Mom here for my appointment so that she could see this baby in action! I got really excited to be able to see the baby's face this week. I could see the eyes, the face shape, and those cheeks. Who are you? How will you change our lives? We can't wait to meet you little baby. Only ten more weeks to go. Hang in there and grow, grow, grow!

Tooth #3 for Michael

When I was a kid, I used to love it when my teeth were loose. I would spend hours wiggling them and loved the challenge on trying to get them out (oh- and I liked the money from the tooth fairy)! This is something that Michael absolutely did not inherit from me. Michael's top left tooth has been loose for months now. Over the months and weeks, it has gotten ridiculously loose but he refuses to let us get in there to take a look at it or pull it out. He complains that he can't eat (I don't blame him) but won't get the darned thing out of there so we can all get some peace around the situation!

Tonight we could actually see the tooth hanging on by a thread and tried desperately to convince him to let us pull it out! No cigar. Finally, I cornered him and likened the 'tooth pulling' experience to that of getting a shot. I told him that the more he worried the worse it would be in the end. If he just let Daddy pull it out- it would all be over and he wouldn't have to worry about the tooth again! I said, 'Just go over to Dad and say that you don't want to talk about it- you just want him to pull it out!' I was as shocked as ever when he went along with my plan and got Damien and told him to pull it out without talking. It was one big tug and the little tooth that lived in Michael's mouth for almost eight years was out! He was so happy! Claire was happy for him too, as she was a bit anxious that the extraction would hurt her brother! Matthew was just confused and kept asking to look at the now vacant spot in Michael's mouth. I think he thought it was magic or something.

I think it is safe to say that we were all relieved to see that the pesky tooth was out! It was even cooler because my Mom was here to witness all of the excitement! Claire quickly pointed out to Michael that now they were tied in 'Tooth Losing' which is apparently a competitive thing between them. The score is now 3-3. If I know Claire, she is going to go to some extreme length to lose one of her other teeth because she likes to one up her brother. So stay tuned. This could get interesting!!!

My Little Jokester

Matthew absolutely cracks me up. He is so in control of everything and has a plan in his head all the time! He listens to conversations when you don't even know he is there, he will get something for me if he hears me talking about it, and just likes play an active part in all of our lives. Well, tonight at dinner- Damien, Michael, Claire and I were telling knock knock jokes once we had finished eating. We were laughing and just having a good time when we heard Matthew say from his highchair, Knock Knock. Surprised that he wanted in on the joke telling we answered, Who's there? He said, Mommy. We said, Mommy Who? Then he answered, Mommy Lisa. We started absolutely cracking up! My little two year old came up with a joke all by himself and all of us thought it was so creative and funny! He didn't stop there either. Once he knew he had a captive audience, he also said these jokes:

Knock knock. Who's There? Daddy. Daddy Who? Daddy Damien.

Knock knock. Who's There? The Beast. The Beast Who? Beast bonjour, bonjour, bonjour.

Knock knock. Who's There? Baby. Baby Who? Baby Choo Choo.

Man, what a funny kid.

So Touched

I knew yesterday was going to be an emotional day for me- but what I wasn't ready for was the outpouring of support, love, and encouragement from my family and friends. The emails, the comments on my blog post, the phone calls, and the well wishes on facebook were so incredible and I thank each and every one of you who took time out of your day to let me know you were thinking about me. I appreciate every one of you who has taken the time to listen, to be of support and give me strength to get through this long emotional journey. Thank you, thank you. I feel truly blessed.

25 Weeks = Deep Breath

Today is a great day for me. The sun is shining, my sister Natalie is here, and I am 25 weeks in this pregnancy! I am so happy and so relieved and just so content. This is always my first huge goal. 25 weeks into Michael's pregnancy- I gave birth to Michael. Despite every effort and a week of total bedrest, we couldn't stop the labor and this ultimately led to his birth. When I reach this point in the pregnancy- I always think of Michael and I remember laying in bed shortly after giving birth to him and wishing I could have done more. Today I have that opportunity!

I went to the doctor today and got great news that my cervix is still 3.6 cm long. There has been little change over the last three weeks and at this point- every week I can pass without bedrest is a true gift!!! The baby measured 1 lb. 14 oz (Michael was 1 lb. 9 oz) and looked very healthy. Of course, it was hiding it's face and wrapped around the placenta- but it still looked cute. Natalie was able to be at the ultrasound with Damien, Matthew, and myself and we all enjoyed getting a glimpse of the baby. The only negative thing at the appointment was that I found out I failed my glucose screen (a test for gestational diabetes) last week and next Thursday, I have to go to the doctor's office for four straight hours for the bigger glucose screen. Really? Of course I had to fail this test! I have passed it in each of my other three pregnancies but had to fail it this time! I had to laugh it off. There is a first time for everything, right?

Last night as I lay with Michael before bed- I explained to him that in just eight short hours, I would've given birth to him in his pregnancy. He understands that the baby in my tummy is small and he doesn't want it to go through what he had to. He then paused and said to me, "Mom, I am sorry if it was my fault." I immediately got choked up and gave him a big hug and told him, "Michael- it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Mommy's fault either. It was just the way you were supposed to come into this world." He thought about it for a second and asked me, "Do you think God planned it this way because He knew I was strong enough?" "Yes, Michael", I whispered. "God knew you were a strong strong boy". The exchange we shared was so touching and so gut wrenchingly difficult for me. I hope he never wasted a second wondering if what happened to him- to us, was his fault. I was so happy we had such a great talk last night. I am glad that he was able to tell me how he felt about his miraculous 'birth day' and voice his concern about being at fault. After he thought about what we had just talked about, he told me he hopes the baby can stay in there for a long time so that he/she doesn't need to get shots like he did when he was a baby. I couldn't agree more.

Today in the ultrasound, I really looked at the baby. The arms, the legs, the sweet head and chest and knew just what he/she would look like on the outside. Perfectly formed and beautiful- but just really small. I speak for the few people who got to see Michael within the first few weeks of his birth when I say that seeing a baby so small and precious is breathtaking. It is so beautiful, so miraculous- but at the same time it is sad to see a baby who didn't get the chance to swim around and grow uninterrupted inside the safety of their Mommy's belly. This regret I have, the sorrow I felt for not being able to keep Michael in my tummy for just one more day or even one more hour- propels me to take it easy and give this baby a fighting chance.

Today is a wonderful day. I will try to not take for granted the seemingly unimportant days that will pass from here on out in this pregnancy. These days are days that would've taken away some of the pain and suffering that Michael had to endure. These are days that I would've seriously sacrificed anything for to have given Michael another day safe and warm in my body. Each day is an opportunity for this baby, for Michael's new little brother or sister, to grow into a bigger, healthier baby and how powerful it feels to be able to make a difference in this little one's life already. Happy 25 weeks baby!

Saint Joseph's Day

Yes, it is that time of year again. The annual 'Wearing of the Red' on St. Joseph's Day! My Dad and Michael share this special saint day as they both have the middle name of Joseph. Michael looks forward to this day year round and this year he wasn't disappointed. He came home from school and talked about how much they learned about St. Joseph and Michael got to tell the class that his Grandpa celebrates his saint day today!

Because I can't travel- we weren't able to fly up north for the big St. Joseph's Day bash my parents host. This year- some 200 people came out to celebrate the 'wearin' of the red' while making valuable donations that will be sent to Malawi, Africa. Michael and his beginnings help start this event and I couldn't be prouder of Michael and my Dad for how their common middle name is changing lives across the world.

There are a few traditions (aside from the spiritual ones) that my kids look forward to on their respective saint day. The first is that Grandpa gets them a special gift for them to enjoy and the second- is that they get to end the day with an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins! This year Grandpa gave Michael some new baseball cleats and a game for his Nintendo DS. I think it was a Club Penguin game but I wasn't sure because Michael tore into the package and I haven't seen much of him since! Thanks again Grandpa for finding a way to make my kids so happy while reminding them of the importance and relevance of their faith. We love you!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In years past, I have put a lot more effort into St. Patrick's Day than I did this year. I did buy Claire a shirt in advance where she brilliantly suggested that I buy a shirt she could wear year round rather than a shirt that only worked on St. Patrick's Day. I knew Michael could pick from a handful of green shirts to wear. And Matthew- well, I didn't get him anything but luckily had a green hat around the house that made it look as though I put an ounce of effort into making him look festive! I am starting to battle myself a bit. Sometimes I want to go out and run a bunch of errands and get some things that I want, but then I need to be more rational and remember to take it easy and just get through this pregnancy. In an effort to multitask and to please my Irish husband- I went to the store to get items for Irish Soda Bread. Would you know they were out of caraway seeds and buttermilk! Opportunity lost because I knew I couldn't justify going to the store the next day to look for the items again! Maybe next year!


Damien got the kids ready for school and drove carpool in the morning in order to give me a little more time to rest because I had an appointment that morning to see my doctor. He did an awesome job making sure they all were dressed in their festive clothes and even did Claire's hair in pigtails with coordinating ribbons. I love that he can do this so well and make Claire look cute even when I am not there to do it. When I picked up carpool after Claire's school day- two of her friends said, "Your Dad did your hair like that? My Dad could never do that!" Claire responded, "Ya, my Dad is good at a lot of things!" It was really cute. I was excited to see Michael after school but also curious if he ate his lunch that day. As I was making lunches the night before St. Patrick's Day- Damien said I should put a little green food coloring in the cream cheese for Michael's bagel. I told him that if I did that- he wouldn't eat it. Apparently that morning, Damien prepped Michael about the festive green bagel and told him that it tastes exactly the same but just looks different. Well, when Michael got home from school- it was no shocker to see the barely touched bagel in his lunch box. He said it tasted moldy! That is the thing about Michael. He loves things that are predictable and when you surprise him and throw him a little off course- he is not comfortable. I must admit though- when I look at the picture of his bagel it makes me a little queasy.

That night during dinner, Claire said to Michael "Today is your day. You are SOOOO Irish!" Damien then said to Claire, "You are just as much as Irish as Michael." Claire responded, "No- I'm Italian and Michael is Irish." We tried to explain that no matter what they look like that they are made of the exact same things. We had a nice dinner (the kids wanted breakfast for dinner) and we tweaked the meal so that it was Irishy. Think green eggs, sausage, green banana pancakes, and cantaloupe. We had a nice night and I was happy I put aside some eggs and pancakes sans green coloring so that Michael would actually eat!

Michael Starts Little League

Michael has been waiting patiently to get his chance to play baseball. Last year, I was a little behind the times and missed the sign-up period. Well this year, I made certain that I would be one of the first people to sign up so that Michael could play! He was so excited to be drafted to the Pirates! His excitement grew even more when we went shopping to buy all the necessary gear for him to play. Let me first start off reminding you that I am from a family with five girls. There are definite accessory differences between boys and girls. I was a little taken aback when I was told that they wear athletic cups at this level. It never even crossed my mind! Just get a laugh picturing me maneuvering my way through Sports Authority looking for this. Eventually- I asked for help because seriously- I had no clue!

When I think back to my childhood- I have so many wonderful memories of playing softball as a little girl. I started playing in Kindergarten and think I finally hung up my cleats after seventh grade. I have so many memories with my Dad that involve throwing the ball around in the backyard, having him hit grounders to me (or rather at me), playing around at the ballpark all day with my sisters (there were three of us playing at one time so chances were we were going to be at the park for a long time), and just developing a real love for the game. This Saturday, Michael had opening ceremonies for Willow Glen Little League. It was a lot of fun and I loved every minute of it. They assembled all the teams in the outfield and then one by one the teams were announced and got to run around the bases. They were playing some great music and while Michael's team was announced- they were playing the song, Put Me In Coach. I don't know if it was just me being emotional or if it is the pregnancy, but I totally started tearing up at the vision of my sweet Michael all dressed up running the bases. It woke me up and made me realize, Wow! Here we are. Here I am! I have a child that is at this awesome stage in life where they get to play Little League and enjoy being a kid to the fullest. I put my sunglasses on so I didn't look like the giant sap that I was and enjoyed watching all these kids have their moment.

Michael had his first game and we couldn't have been more excited for him. In his league- the ball is machine pitched which takes a little getting used to. The speed of the pitch in combination with difficult hand/eye coordination are all things that take a little getting used to. On Michael's first time up- he made contact with the ball a few times- but they were all foul. They get seven pitches to work with so he went to the dugout without a true hit. The second time he was up, he took a few great swings, but no hit. Then he hit the ball and you could see the excitement running through his veins as he touched first and rounded for second only to realize when he got there- that one of his teammates was still there. So he hurried and ran back to first and was safe! His teammates did great and hit him home and he was thrilled to experience scoring a run for the first time! He had a great game and you could just see the confidence he gained by the end of the game. He fielded ground balls, caught a few balls, and got a hit. I was so happy that he had a positive first experience. By the end of the game, my heart had swelled with pride from watching Michael play. I can't wait for the rest of the season and to see him get to know the game better and hopefully develop a real love for it.

From the Mouth of Claire

Hi Everyone! This is Claire. I am so excited that I don't have school tomorrow. I wish we could go to Disneyland but my Mom and Dad said not until the baby is born. I wish I could go on all the rides. My favorite ride is Pirates of the Caribbean in Disneyland. In Disneyland I like the world's biggest lollipop. I am so excited for my Mom to have a baby. I wish I could have a girl baby. I've never had a sister before. But if I have a boy baby- it will still be okay. I wish we could have the baby in ten weeks. I know it is okay to have a baby boy because I saw my baby brother Matthew when he was born and he looked so cute so I know it is going to be okay. But if it is a girl, I will play with her and it would be a lot of fun to do her hair and play dress up with her. It will be a lot of fun no matter what! I am in gymnastics now. The first time I did it- it was really fun. Every Monday I do it. I like doing somersaults, cartwheels, donkey kicks, swinging on the rings, climbing up ropes- it is a lot of fun. Sometimes I have the same teachers at gymnastics. I really really like it. In school- I like coloring rainbows, flowers, and hearts. I like being six years old. The End.

Just like Michael a few weeks back- Claire wanted to blog today. I love how she just says what she is feeling. Too cute.

23 Weeks

Just a quick update to let you know how things are going. Last week at 22 weeks, my cervix had shorted a bit to 3.3 cm (down from 3.9 cm). The doctor told me I really needed to start taking it easy and do one hour or bedrest in the morning and one in the afternoon. Well, this week- my cervix actually gained a little bit of length due to my resting and I am back at 3.5 cm. I am still doing the light bedrest but it is no big deal at all. We were finally able to get a decent (albeit quick) glance at the baby's face. It's been two straight weeks where we haven't been able to see the face because the baby was head down and burrowing into the cervix. The baby flipped around this week and is temporarily breech but still pressed it's face into the side of the uterus. We were able to rule out facial abnormalities and now just need to hope that the baby cooperates next week so we can see the profile (the last thing to complete the physical ultrasound started at 21 weeks). I am feeling good and gradually inching along to my first big goal of 25 weeks. Just a quick little post to let you know we are doing great and feeling the same!!!

Beyond Sick

There is nothing more frightening to me than suspecting that one of my kids is sick. My thought process usually works like this. I have a little hot flash imagining having to take care of my child and then start major hot flashes when I think of all of them getting sick at the same time. Then I usually try and think about what kind of virus we are dealing with. The thoughts of vomiting, diarrhea, sore throat, and no sleep stream through my brain and then I always think to myself, 'Do I have enough Tylenol and Motrin?' Once the hot flashes are gone, I try and really evaluate what we are dealing with. This involves announcing to the whole house that 'We are on Operation No Sharing!!!' and I usually quarantine the sick child on the couch. Of course I have this little pipe dream that maybe we won't all get sick. 'Maybe because I acted so quickly we will minimize the damage of this nasty little virus'. Then the image of my now sick child sharing his/her apple with Matthew earlier in the day sets in and I know that we are screwed. Better hunker down and prepare for the misery ahead!

No one likes to be sick and even worse- no one likes it when one or more of your kids are sick at the same time. These negative and overwhelming thoughts can pour through your head but the only thing that makes it better is weathering the storm (and a bowl of ice cream before bed). Michael had had a sore throat for a few days and soon Claire did too. Then- that same day I got a strep throat notice from his school so I was convinced they both had it. They couldn't eat- couldn't sleep. Basically- they were miserable. I medicated them as much as I could and really tried to make them comfortable. Claire started barfing but luckily she is the most controlled barfer I know and made it in the garbage can I set next to her bed. OF COURSE- they both really got sick on a Friday night which is just lovely because the pediatrician's office is closed. I did manage to get them both in on Sunday morning for a strep culture that ultimately showed up as negative. I guess the virus going around is one that mirrors strep but isn't strep. Monday morning, Michael screamed in pain that his ear was popping off his head. I took him in Monday and sure enough- he had an ear infection. They both stayed home from school until Wednesday and I was close to being at my wit's end.

Later that week, (when Damien was in Chicago for three days of work) I noticed drainage from Michael's ear that was NOT normal. I will spare you the details but I knew for a fact that he had ruptured his eardrum (he ruptured his eardrum two years ago and it looked the same) . I waited a few days because I knew he was on antibiotics but it just kept getting worse. I made him an appointment on Friday and sure enough- his eardrum was all kinds of yucky. I had to throw away the old antibiotics and get a new one and wouldn't you know that he had an allergic reaction to it? Damien flew in on Friday night and as he walked in the door at 10:30 p.m. I pushed him back out of it and told him to go to the store to get Benadryl fast. Michael was struggling and we almost had to take him into the ER because we couldn't control the negative side effects of the meds. To make a long story even longer- we eventually had to give up the oral antibiotics and instead opt for a major dose of antibiotics via shots in Michael's thighs. Ouch! It did the trick and thankfully- I was able to send Michael to school on Wednesday making this the second week in a row he missed two days of school!

I then made the biggest mistake ever and proclaimed our house 'Illness Free' which of course only jinxed me further as Matthew started to fever one day later (which lasted for three miserable and sleepless nights). Seriously. I thought I was going to go nuts! Oh, yeah. And I am pregnant and trying to take it easy. This was no easy streak of illness to get over. By the end, Damien and I were spent. Sometimes I think I am crazy to worry so much when I detect illness in one of my kids. Then I remember miserable viruses like this one and remember why I am so crazy about it.

I am going to go out on a limb here and declare our house healthy. Did I again jinx myself? I guess we'll all just have to wait and see!

My Little Big Man

This picture was taken back in 2005 when Michael was 4 and Claire was 3. I remember never being able about to think of Michael and Claire without each other. It was almost as if they came together in a package and just couldn't be separated. Because they are so close in age, they hung out together all day and really didn't know life without the other. Trying to think into the future was difficult for me back then because I knew that they would have to separate and the idea of that was a lot for me to handle.

Kids are resilient and while we had many days where Claire missed Michael when he was in preschool, they eventually got used to being apart for a few hours every day. They have adjusted nicely to the separation and have made the adjustment every time one of them starts a new routine (i.e. preschool, kindergarten, first grade).

The sight of the two of them together still tickles me to this day. While they do argue and bug the heck out out of each other at times, they are truly connected in their hearts and need each other. I am writing about their relationship because the today they had the sweetest little exchange I have seen in a long time.

It was a typical school morning as we pulled into the school parking lot for drop off. Because I am trying to take it easy and not do anything that I don't have to do- I thought maybe Michael could walk Claire into Kindergarten. The school parking lot is set up in a way where you can only walk in certain areas and one of the rules is that Kindergartners need to be walked into the Kindergarten courtyard by an adult or a sibling. Michael took his new challenge very seriously and told me he would take care of it. Both Michael and Claire left the car and instead of walking in front of her (like he always does) Michael walked beside her and made conversation. As I watched the two of them walk away from me- I had one of those moments where I knew I did well for them. I taught them to love each other and it brought me great satisfaction to see them interacting this way. I watched Michael walk Claire through both crosswalks and in an instant, they both disappeared from my view into the Kindergarten courtyard. I craned my neck for a while to see if I could see Michael come out from the courtyard but after a few minutes, I left for home.

When Claire got home from school today- I could hardly wait to hear how things went in the morning. I think I felt a little guilty that I didn't walk her in myself so I wanted to make sure she was okay with how things went. My instructions to Michael were to walk her in, take her to the bench, and then say goodbye. Well, Claire told me that's not how things went. Michael did walk Claire in and did walk her to the bench. What he didn't do was leave. Instead, he stood with all the Moms and Dads on the side of the courtyard for about five minutes and waited for Claire's teachers to come out and ring the bell for class to start. My heart melted. She told me he waved goodbye to her and then headed to first grade. I was blown away by Michael's devotion to Claire. I loved the confidence he had to stand with all the Moms and Dads and wait (and I am sure he waited with his hands in his pockets as he always does when he is feeling grown up or cool). I love that without being asked, he knew the right thing to do for Claire (and for my heart). This expression of love, the very thing that binds these two beautiful siblings- was so clear and true this morning. I gushed to him when he got home from school about how proud I was of him. I also let him off the hook and told him that when he helps me drop off Claire in the Kindergarten courtyard- he really truly could just walk her to the bench and leave. Whether he will do this in the future or not is not for certain. But what is certain is that Michael loves his little sister Claire and I look forward to seeing these two as they grow older together. My little babies . . .

Cute Matthew-isms

Matthew is really cracking us up lately! I have to write a few of these down before I forget them because they are so funny!

1. Matthew calls himself Mah-Mah. However, he also calls himself Math-me. He says this because Damien said say Math-you and in his typical fashion, Matthew turned the tables and said Math-me!

2. If I ask Matthew how much he loves me, he stretches his arms out as far as they will go and says, "Big much!" I love this!

3. Lately, I have been telling Matthew he needs a haircut. He then called his hair fuzzy and reminds me he needs a haircut by saying, "Cut, cut, cut, cut . . ." really fast while pretending to cut his hair. Which reminds me, I should really make sure the scissors are out of his reach. None of my kids have cut their own hair yet and I don't want to start now!

4. If Matthew wants to watch a TV show, he will just ask me, "Mom, show?" But if he wants to watch a movie he will ask me, "Mom, big show?" Pretty creative I think!

5. Matthew has been going poop on the toilet for about six months now. At first he would tell me, "Poop!" and I would take him. But over the past few months- he will run up to me and yell "Poop Bad!" I love the urgency and it certainly gets me moving quickly to get him to the toilet.

6. Matthew has picked up some of my bad snacking habits. One of them is eating Wheat Thins with a little bit of onion and chive cream cheese on top. (Don't knock it until you've tried it!) He is so funny and won't eat the cracker without it. One day, he suckered Damien into getting him the crackers from the pantry and then Matthew proceeded to open the refrigerator and get out the cream cheese and handed it to Damien saying, "On cracker."

7. Matthew loves shoes. He rarely walks around the house barefoot. I am sure this will change in the springtime, but he loves wearing shoes! Any shoes. Tennis shoes, slippers, dress shoes- it doesn't matter. Oh, and he also knows who gave him all the shoes he has. If he puts on his tennis shoes, he will say "Nonna shoes". If he puts on his slippers, he says "Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas" to signify Santa gave them to him.

8. If my shirt isn't fully covering my ever growing belly- Matthew will come over and pull my shirt down saying, "Close Baby!"

I could go on but these are just the funny things about Matthew that are in my mind right now. Funny funny, Matthew.

Mr. President

In Michael's first grade class, they were asked to write a paragraph in class about what they would do if they were president. Michael hadn't told me that they had written this but I am used to it because finding out what happened in class from Michael is as easy as pulling teeth! When I looked in his folder and read what he would do as president, I was really touched.

It reads:
"If I were president, I would take care of my country. I would help my country by giving them food. It would be fresh fruit. I would help sick people. I would give them medicine. I would give my country more protection. I would send army people. I think I would be a good president."

Being a parent is an interesting balance of trying to teach your children the right things to do in life coupled with the reality of dealing with the decisions they make when you are not around. I have no control over what Michael does at school but I sincerely hope (as most parents do) that he will live and choose his path according to what we have worked so hard to teach him. I really liked what he wrote. First graders are still working hard to understand so many complex concepts in the world that you never know what they are going to say! I liked that Michael's paragraph showed sensitivity to the people and world around him. I especially like the part about 'fresh fruit'. I love that they did this assignment and it is definitely a keeper. He will get a real kick out of it one day!

"P You"

Matthew has been cracking us up lately! My Mom always talked about how her third child (Gina) was so funny and understood adult humor because she was around it so much. Well, the same seems to be true with Matthew. He gets most jokes, knows when to laugh during movies or conversations, and even has a sense of humor that is distinctly this own. I always mean to write down things that he does that make me laugh but I usually forget. So sad! Well one thing that has been funny is this game he started playing with Damien.

It started with Damien smelling Matthew's feet and saying, "P U"! Damien and the rest of us played this game for several weeks until Matthew figured out a way to get us back! When Damien said, "P U", Matthew would say, "P Dad"! At first we thought it was just cute until we realized what he was saying. He interpreted "P U" as "P You". So instead of being the target of the joke, he made Damien it by saying "P Dad". It was so funny. Before long, he would run in the kitchen and say, "P Mom" or tell Michael "P Minah". He has played this joke with most everyone that comes over to visit or stay with us.

He is also not bashful when it comes to showing off/performing. Funny enough, in public- he is a little bashful (like all my kids have been). He is always hesitant in a social situation until he feels comfortable. Well, the other night we had our neighbors over for dinner and he told us he was done eating. Once we let him out of his highchair, he slipped away to the back of the house and came out with a pirate costume on. He then proceeded to have a sword fight with himself and never acknowledged us as we laughed. He just went back to his room and came back wearing a completely different costume. He did this little skit for about ten minutes- never needing help! This was all unprompted and we were just cracking up! The funny part about all of this is that he knows he is funny. We don't have to tell him- hence the fact that he dead pans around us when he is being funny. It is a gross understatement to say that our family is totally enjoying Matthew. He keeps us laughing all day and sometimes- laughter is the best medicine to a busy hectic day!

TV Wars

It's incredible how quickly things can change in the house. We can have a few harmonious days, and then with the flip of a switch- the kids can have a really hard time getting along. Because Michael and Claire are so close in age, they have generally liked a lot of the same things despite their difference in gender. Matthew, well he is kind of in a world of his own where no one threatens his toys- he instead can bug the older two at times by wanting to play with their things. One major thing that has happened lately is a discrepancy in television shows. I try not to let the kids watch too much TV, but there are definitely times during the day when I need a little help from the 'electronic babysitter'.

One TV time that helps me out quite a bit is in the morning before Michael and Claire go to school. For months, the two of them dragged on in the morning and it was hard to get them out of here on time. Then one day, I told them if they hurry and get dressed, brush their teeth, and get their hair done- they could watch TV if there was any time left. Presto! They are different kids now that I have given them a little reward if they hustle! Life was great and my little plan was working perfectly until they both decided that they didn't want to watch each other's show. Claire doesn't want to watch a 'boy show' and Michael feels the same about 'girl shows'. Now I have to assign a morning to one of them and then flip flop mornings so that it is fair. So my plan was working perfectly until Matthew decided that neither the 'boy show' or the 'girl show' were good enough for him. He really doesn't watch a lot of television but if he does- he wants to watch Sesame Street (in particular Elmo's World) or Curious George. Now in the mornings if he notices his show isn't on- he will yell 'Monkey' or 'Melmo'!

I totally respect people that don't have a TV in their house. More power to you! That is just not the route for me and I don't really see anything wrong with the kids watching a show from time to time (as long as the content is monitored by me). Before, a television show provided me a brief relief but these days, it seems more like a headache. I just think it is funny how one day I can have it all figured out, and the next- I don't know where my routine went! As all the kids get older, their age and gender will play a bigger role in their differences. I don't blame Michael for not wanting to kick back and watch My Little Ponies and I certainly sympathize with Claire and her dislike of Transformers. I also don't blame Michael and Claire for getting bored with Elmo. I must say, however, that both the older kids are really good at adapting to the other's likes when they have to. For instance, Claire can get into Star Wars whereas I can't stand to watch a minute of it. And if Claire is watching Barbie and the Island Princesses, Michael can suck it up and get into it too. I guess I should just brace for the future and find a way to sort our their differences or just let them deal with it themselves! When I think back to my childhood, I am pretty sure I bullied my younger sisters into watching what I wanted to watch. It just must be the way it goes! So basically, I am left with few options to solve the television debacle. I could threaten to take away the television- but come on. If I didn't have my dose of reality TV from time to time, I would not be happy. Moms need TV, too!

From the Mouth of Michael

I am so happy that I might have a brother or a sister. It is really cool having a brother and a sister. Think about it. Would you like that? Well I certainly would! The mouth of Michael rocks! I can feel the baby kicking. I am watching a movie right now. If you are someone I know- you are lucky! School is good. I am not feeling really good today. We learned to subtract, minus, and plus and times. I love school. I'll write again sometime. Bye! Have a great day.

Michael wanted to publish a blog (his exact words) so I let him just say what he wanted, I typed it and then published it. He is too much!

Boy vs. Girl Baby

I admit- it is not the easiest thing to not know the sex of your baby. I am constantly day dreaming about having a boy and then switch gears and think of having a baby girl. And while it is all good and I know in time I will know who is in my tummy- part of me would love to know who is going to join our family! Either way, if it is a boy or girl- he/she will most definitely have a great effect on all of us. There are positives about having either sex and it mostly has to do with our kids.

If it is a girl, Claire would be so happy! She is really hoping that the baby is a girl because she wants to have a sister. She made this clear the minute we told her we were pregnant. I can't blame her because all I have is sisters and she is so aware of this. I know that Claire loves having brothers, but she would love a sister and I would love to see her get one. Michael has also said he would love to have a girl baby because he doesn't remember Claire when she was a baby. Also a very valid point! If we had a girl, we would be an evenly split family of three boys and three girls. Equality for all!

If it is a boy, we would all be thrilled. I know initially Claire would be a tiny bit disappointed but she would snap out of it and love the heck out of a sweet baby boy. She is so maternal and I know she would love to hold and help her new brother. Michael has said he wants a boy but usually he says this just as Claire has said she wants a girl. Basically, he has been rubbing it in that it could be four boys vs. two girls. Oh, the drama. I think it would be great if I had a boy because Matthew would have a little playmate. Not that he wouldn't play with a sister, but it would be kinda cute.

If comes down to this. We all want a healthy baby and no matter if it is a boy or a girl, a brother or a sister- we will all be so happy. I don't feel a boy or girl vibe. I feel the same as I always do with each and every pregnancy. My guessing percentage is terrible anyway at 33%. I guessed correctly that Michael was a boy. I thought Claire was a boy- wrong! I thought Matthew was a girl- wrong! So I really don't have a strong feeling about the sex of the baby. The only thing that is kind of distinctive is I have a really strong gag reflex this time like I did with Claire's pregnancy. I remember when I was pregnant with her- all I needed to do was put the toothbrush a little too far back in my mouth and I would throw up! Well, this pregnancy I have had the same thing and have had several barfing episodes while trying to brush my teeth. But that is it! Everything else seems pretty par for the course and very much the same with my previous pregnancies. I really can't wait for my amazing birth moment when I find out who has been the little baby kicking around my belly. Is it a boy or a girl? We will find out in June!

The BIG Ultrasound

Well, I turned 21 weeks today but more importantly- I had my big ultrasound. I was really looking forward to this ultrasound because it is just one more way to get a real deep glimpse into the well being of my baby. Even though I have had an ultrasound every other week, I couldn't believe how big this baby has gotten. It is just amazing. We got great news that the baby looks really healthy. Everything looked good but unfortunately, we couldn't see the face or the profile of the baby. In fact, this is the best picture we could get because the baby was head down and had wrapped it's body around the placenta. My doctor said that babies sometimes like to do this because it is like a big pillow to them. The baby sure did look comfortable! Starting next Tuesday, I will have weekly ultrasounds until the birth of this baby so we will just look next week at it's face to make sure everything looks normal.

We didn't find out the sex and aren't going to. I must admit that I was more tempted this time to look but I didn't. Just a few more months and we'll find out who he or she is! The baby looked really healthy in the ultrasound and weighs one pound. It is measuring a few days bigger than my gestation and looked as happy as could be in there. More good news is that my cervix stayed the same length as it has over the past month. I am really happy about this but cautiously happy because I know that one of these weeks, we will have a substantial change in cervical length.

All in all, it was a great appointment and I am more anxious than ever to see who this little baby is!

Ali & Brad's Birthday!

There are a lot of birthdays in both Damien and my family. Between parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, nieces, and nephews- I am constantly thinking of gifts for people and putting parties on my calendar in advance to make sure we can make as many as we can. Neither of our families has converted to the 'Monthly Birthday Celebration' where you celebrate once a month the people's birthday that happened in that month. I imagine at some point, that is going to have to happen as the families continue to grow with new wives, husbands and grandkids. At some point, we won't have a choice in the matter.

We were all fortunate enough to find a date where we could all get together for Damien's sister and brother in law's birthday. They actually share the same birthday and Lani graciously offered to host it for them. My kids were really looking forward to getting together with their cousins and we can't believe how many grandkids there are now. Ten and counting! We started the night eating pizza together (Ali wanted everything low key which totally worked for us) and then went back to Lani's house for cake, gifts, and some great time spent as a big family.

We ended up driving to Healdsburg afterwards to spend the night at Damien's parents house. It was fun to wake up with everyone the next morning and have a lazy Sunday together. We only stayed until 3:00 p.m. in order to be able to take Damien's sister back down to San Jose to catch her flight. All in all, we had a great weekend and it was nice to see everyone together again. Happy Birthday Ali and Brad!

Date Night

I am careful when talking about Damien on my blog because I don't want to constantly gag people with all the lovey dovey feelings I have for him. He is amazing, he is so fun, he really is my best friend (insert gagging sounds here). I don't know why I don't write more honestly about how much I love him because the truth is- I seriously love him more and more each day I am with him. I feel so lucky that I met him when we were so young and that we were able to start a family and a life with one another. I am so blessed to be married to someone who I can talk to about anything and everything and also spend countless days together without getting tired of him. I am lucky to have married someone who I (if we didn't keep having kids together) would apply for The Amazing Race with and kick some serious butt! I am lucky and so happy to have him and think I need to be less humble about the amazing relationship we have.

The other night- I glanced at the calendar and on Friday, February 20th a small note read, Date Night. Yeah, that's right. Date night. I immediately got excited and really couldn't wait to go out! Before we knew it- Friday was here and I was pumped to know that I didn't have to cook dinner or watch the kids that night. It was all about us! Damien took me to downtown San Jose where we had a delicious dinner at Bella Mia. We hadn't been there in years but it holds a special place in our hearts. When we were first dating in college, I told Damien one night that we should go out to dinner. I then suggested Bella Mia. Damien obliged but immediately began panicking because unbeknownst to me- he didn't have a lot of money at the time. When we went to dinner, I looked for something delicious while Damien searched the menu for the most inexpensive item. He ended up picking cheese ravioli and water which I now know that he loathes (the raviolis, not the water). Sweet guy. He tried to show me a night on the town while wiping sweat off his brow the whole night wondering if he had enough money to cover it! Bella Mia was really really good and we definitely did not order the ravioli this time!

After we ate, I was in a post-eating coma and really didn't pay attention to where Damien was driving. I was enjoying the conversation and relishing in the moment that I wasn't reaching in the backseat to hand Matthew his pluggie or helping Michael and Claire solve a disagreement. Then it dawned on me that there might be a Part B of the date and I realized we were headed to HP Pavillion and so were A LOT of other people. "Are we going to see a concert?" I asked. "Maybe", he said. Just then- I looked up and saw Celine Dion appear on the reader board and I was soooo happy! I absolutely love Celine. I love her music but I also love that she seems so real. Anytime I have seen her on television, she is doing good things for people. I also love that when she performs, you can tell she is totally into what she is singing. We have a condition in our family called 'Ugly McSinging Face'. This rare condition prevents you from looking the least bit attractive when you sing and involves a lot of eye squinting, face contorting, and sometimes tears from feeling the music so deeply. I believe Celine also has this rare condition and I LOVE her for it!

Celine Dion hasn't sung in San Jose for ten years and wouldn't you know I was lucky enough to have gone with Damien back then! Ten years ago we found out that Celine was going to be in San Jose that very same night. Because we were crazy (and childless) we hopped into the car and went downtown to see if we could buy some tickets from scalpers. We asked everyone- and no such luck. We were about to give up when I approached this man and asked if he had tickets. I must have looked desperate because he said to me, 'How bad do you want to see Celine?' I went into a mad speech about how much I love her music and that it would mean so much to me. It turns out- he was one of her managers and told us he would get us in . . . for free! He gave Damien his ticket and had me walk in with him as he showed the people at the ticket door his badge. Once we were all safely in- he told us to find some open seats and enjoy the show! IT WAS AWESOME!!!! When I was dating Damien, I listened to a lot of Celine songs as we fell in love. Sappy- yes. True- yes! Those same songs bring me back to one of the best times in my life.

The concert was just as wonderful as it was last time. She is really so talented and I enjoyed each and every song she sang in her two hour performance with no breaks (just costume changes). I left the concert so incredibly happy that I got to see Celine again, but also so happy that Damien thought enough to plan ahead and make an ordinary night extraordinary.

Brotherly Love

Michael is really growing quickly into a young man. He is more responsible, more mature, and even getting a little lippy! Some of the things that come out of his mouth don't come from us which makes me wonder where he is learning to have such attitude! It isn't anything major and mostly just makes me laugh a little when he walks out of the room- but Michael is certainly coming into his own. He is almost eight years old. He is a confident first grader and is loving the independence that comes with being in grade school. All in all, Michael is just awesome and we are so lucky to have him in our lives. He, as well as Claire, have taken a great interest in my growing tummy. He says goodnight to the baby every night before bed, he hugs the baby before I leave him at school and even offers to help me out so that I don't have to bend over too much or stress myself. He is also really great with Matthew. The two of them are at a good point in their lives together. Matthew loves rough housing with Michael and Michael loves all of the new funny words and actions Matthew learns daily. Of course, Michael does have to torment him a little bit (he is his big brother and that's what big brothers do) but for the most part- they are doing great.

Michael and Claire are also at a great age together. They do fight from time to time but they also have been bonding more lately which is really cute to watch. One thing they love to do together is play their Nintendo DS simultaneously. They sync their games together and can get lost for hours (although I don't let them). They both crack up when they ask Matthew to say funny words or ask him questions like, 'Matthew, do you like to eat garbage?'. Usually they will quiz him at dinnertime and seriously fall off of their chairs laughing!

Michael is doing great. He is a happy little guy who continues to amaze us with his confidence and compassion towards others. I can't wait to see him with a new sibling and he can barely wait, either!

A Sweet Morning

Claire didn't have school today so I was planning on just dropping Michael off at school and coming home. Claire wasn't so sure of my plan and said, "Maybe we could go out to breakfast and just talk about stuff. You know about school, gymnastics, the baby?" I thought it was a great idea and I also thought it would be a great time to bond and catch up! She was up earlier than if she was going to school and dressed in her 'non-uniform'. She was really looking forward breakfast and her enthusiasm spurred me to get excited, too.

We went to this great restaurant named Bill's right in downtown Willow Glen and had a great time. Matthew thought he was really cool because he didn't have to sit in a highchair. He wanted his own menu to read (albeit upside down) and decided he wanted eggs and sausage which are his breakfast favorites. Claire opted for french toast and some yummy hot chocolate while Mommy ordered oatmeal. What was so funny was that when the waiter came to take our order, Matthew looked up at him at just the right time and said, "Eggy please". I didn't prep him to say that and both Claire and I got a good laugh from it. When he brought our food, the waiter handed out everyone's meal and when he gave Matthew his, he said "And here is your eggy!". It was really funny. Just a change in environment made it possible for Claire and I to talk about a lot of things. She is such a special little girl and such a help to me. While I didn't plan on going out to eat that morning, I am so happy Claire suggested it because it was just what we needed!

20 Weeks

Claire is so interested in my pregnancy. She waits almost as eagerly as I do for the day that I change weeks. We had talked about how there were forty weeks in a pregnancy and she was as excited as I was to turn twenty weeks! I don't know what it is that made me so happy this week. Naturally, it felt good to at the official half way point of the pregnancy. There is something about knowing that you have climbed the hill and are now on your way back down that feels good. Well, I am now walking downhill and treading very carefully because I know that one of these weeks, the journey will become more difficult. It will just be my job to keep moving forward despite the way this hill twists and turns.

My next big milestone to hit is 25 weeks. I don't expect a lot of people to identify with the real significance of this week for me. I know a lot of you know about Michael's entrance into the world four months premature, but I don't expect you to know how terrifying it is to know that it just could happen again. While I am hoping and praying for a better result, 25 weeks also represents life to me. It represents to me the chance of survival if born at this gestation. In order for this whole pregnancy to give me something in the end- I have to make it to 25 weeks to have a chance. It is hard to feel this beautiful life in my tummy and worry that something might take that away from me. I am hoping that this cerclage saves me again from any early scares- but just based on my history and what I have been through, I can't just not feel a little scared around this time. I am so happy to be twenty weeks and will cherish each and every week until I get to 25 weeks where I will breathe a small sigh of relief. After that point, each week is a huge blessing to both me and my baby!

On a side note, I have to write a small disclaimer. After my pregnancy with Matthew someone told me that they thought that my blog was depressing and a total downer while I was pregnant. I respect their opinion, although admittedly, I was a tiny bit put off because my blog is a place for me to write about my feelings and find some clarity through all of my struggles as well as enjoy the wonderful moments of my life. No one has walked a day in my shoes and so I wouldn't expect any one person to completely identify with my thoughts and feelings. I choose to write my truth, my real feelings and not sugarcoat things. The blogs I love to read are the blogs where people are real and risk judgement by telling their own truth. When you visit someone's blog, you make a purposeful choice to enter a place where people put themselves out there and share their lives. I don't blame the earlier mentioned reader's opinion about my blog during pregnancy. I just hope you understand that when you visit my blog, you are getting a real dose of my feelings, hopes, and fears. What you see, is what you get and I hope you continue the journey with me.

Little Gymnast

Our family took the winter off from extracurricular activities. After a long season of fall soccer and taking into consideration the fact that I would be trying to get through my first trimester of this pregnancy, we decided a quiet winter at home would be great. So far, we have enjoyed sleeping in on Saturdays (as opposed to getting up for games) and just enjoying the freedom of a whole weekend to do what we want! After all, my kids are still really young and I don't think they need to be over scheduled at this point. I know the crazy scheduling will be here in a few years so why not enjoy some sanity now???

We signed Michael up to play spring baseball and he has been so excited. I asked Claire if she wanted to play softball and she was not interested. She instead thought she might want to do tap, ballet, or gymnastics. After some thought, she decided to do gymnastics and is absolutely loving it!!! We took a trial class at a great gym a few miles from our house and I was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't 'let's sing some songs while holding a parachute' (although I think that is great for little kiddos). This was a full on gym where Claire is pushed to the max! It is so fun to watch her try and manipulate her body on the different apparatuses. Claire is super tall and I swear her limbs lengthen by an inch every couple of weeks (I am exaggerating but you know what I mean). She goes in and out of these growth spurts and I can totally tell when she is in one. She tends to be less coordinated and I swear- sometimes at dinner she will be sitting in her chair eating and somehow fall off the chair onto the floor. Gymnastics is helping her so much on being aware of her body and her limbs and learning how to use her core strength to be successful at an activity.

She is loving the bars and the balance beam and smiles so big when she is on the trampoline. Enrolling Claire in gymnastics was on my giant list of things-to-do and I am so happy I followed through and got her started. She goes to class once a week for an hour and when she is done- she is so satisfied with herself- not to mention exhausted. I feel great watching her because she looks so happy out there. Claire got to pick out a new leotard and you can tell she feels really cool in it. Claire is just so happy and it makes me feel so good. I do laugh quietly a bit when I look out on the floor and see these little petite girls next to Claire who is just so tall for her age. She is hanging in there and having the time of her life.

My Busy Valentine

I am bummed right now. As I am catching up on blogging, I realize that somehow- my Valentine pictures of the kids got deleted. I want to blame someone else but I am sure I did it. The crazy thing is that I don't remember doing it! I will just blame it on my fuzzy pregnant brain. They were so adorable dressed up in their pink and red and actually looked really cute in the pictures. Would you know that the only picture I have from Valentine's Day was of me and Damien? I guess it is fitting since our kids wouldn't even be celebrating Valentine's Day if it weren't for us! We had a long and busy Valentine's Day. This picture was taken just before I got up and started getting ready for the marathon day ahead of us.

On Saturday morning, a great group of my former basketball teammates from Santa Clara University and I got together at Hobee's restaurant. It was the perfect place to see one another as we spent many a weekend morning in college eating way too much food and blueberry coffee cake together. A few weeks before the breakfast, one of my friends let me know that it was going to be a baby shower for my friend Linda and me. What? I told her it was silly as I am expecting my fourth baby (which generally doesn't warrant a shower). But she insisted and I gladly showed up for the shower/breakfast feeling both blessed and honored. We had the best time! I wish so much that these wonderful women lived closer to me. However, the nature of a coach recruiting a basketball team is that they recruit talent from all different states and areas. I miss all of them so much and will never forget how our basketball experiences during those four years bonded us forever.

After the shower, we headed to Santa Clara University for the SCU Women's Basketball Alumni Day Event. I was excited to attend this year because there were a lot of people that were going to attend this year that didn't attend in the past few years. We all got to catch up on each other's lives and just enjoy great conversation and some great laughs as we watched the SCU Women take on Loyola Marymount. At halftime, the kids and I walked out to center court with the other alums to be honored for our years dedicated to SCU Women's Basketball. The kids think it is so cool to be out on the court and to be able to wave at the crowd. It makes me very proud to be able to give them this thrill and share a little of my past with them. At halftime, Melissa King- who was a point guard at SCU before my time was the first women to get her jersey honored and raised to the rafters. It was really cool to see her get this honor because she genuinely deserves it. It was a fabulous day!

Valentine's evening, Damien and I got a babysitter to watch the kids so we could go out and enjoy a delicious dinner together. We really had a nice night and it was a great chance to reflect on the love we share together and to see what it has created. We have three beautiful children and another on the way. I seriously can say that I love Damien as much as I did the day I met him. We have worked very hard to make our relationship the best it can be and value each other as both as a spouse and a friend. I am so thankful this year for all the love in my life. I am surrounded by loving family and friends who make my life so blessed and exceptional. I truly am a lucky woman.